Thursday, 26 November 2009

Almost Forgotten Days: Thursday 19th & Sunday 22nd

Lately I've been trying to post a thing a day to my Tumblr. I could never remember to ever log in to a site and post something every day, so I've used Tumblr's Queue option and now have a little over 20 images lined up to post.
Tumblr should then automatically publish one picture a day, usually around 11am, but on Thursday 19th and Sunday 22nd, nothing was posted. I don't know why since there were enough images in the queue.
Strangely enough I found it a little frustrating. I know, silly, isn't it? To get upset at a website not doing what it should.
It's just that after writing the words, 'Be Consistent' over and over again throughout many journals and note pads and then to see interruptions in my endeavor made me unhappy.

I do not know why I aspire for so many aspects of my life, insignificant or otherwise to work like clock-work, when clocks serve electricity or some kind of mechanical rhythm, and electricity and rhythm are oft interrupted.
Nevertheless, I feel it is important for me to record Thursday 19th and Sunday 22nd.

Thursday 19th

For some reason, my brain really wants me to record that sometime this week, maybe it was Tuesday night, Molly came over while Felicia and Luke and I were watching films and since it had been a week since we all hung out, it was nice to see everyone hanging out and smiling.

On Thursday, I really don't know what happened. I remember it being stressful, that whole week was, but after the lost work day, I remember feeling very tired. So I took a nap before I had to get dressed and meet the mister who did my taxes and his lawyer friend for dinner.
I showed up on time at the restaurant, Pylos, which served Greek cuisine. I've been reading The Iliad, and though the dishes are obviously advanced from those times, The Iliad has a way of making a shank of some meat simply cooked on a fire sound so delectable, so I was excited to be eating food from the same land that all the terrible deeds and triumphs took place.
The dinner was nice, I found myself talking a lot, straining my voice and not having much to eat... yes, that's right, because I actually wasn't that hungry; My Boss ordered us Chinese food that day. To keep us working and to keep morale up, I suppose. It certainly helped, I love Chinese. Two countries in one day. My tongue is a jet-setter.

Afterwards, I left quickly and found myself texting Molly to see what she was up to and she happened to be walking home at the same time, I then thought, because (for only 5 more days) we live amusingly close to each other, that it would be fun to surprise her and be creepy and, ahem, (this is going to make me look like a creep-something I acknowledge I try hard to do but never want to actually be), stalk her.
I must have been on the phone when she past or maybe she was already home when I was looking for her because after a while I gave up and she flashed her lights on and off and it was funny. It was! Shut up.
So I tottered over there and we talked, which was nice, because I'm usually just gyrating her hip at parties (not exactly and EXACTLY. It's what I do to everyone. You could be dead and I'd probably give you a quick hip bump before calling the cops).
Then we became 14 on a Friday Night and went and got movies at BlockBuster and candy at Duane Reade and we tried to watch Role Models but, alas! it was not that exciting to watch! It's Paul Rudd and David Wayne and we still couldn't sit through it. Instead, we let our minds get a little fucked over by Phoebe in Wonderland.
Watching this little angel of a girl beat herself up was pretty agonizing, but I still really enjoyed it. Elle Fanning truly is a little wonder. Her and her sister will hopefully continue to do some nice movies.
Then Luke came over a little intoxicated from Next New Networks parties and other shenanigans and we went back to our place together and then mucked around and then fell asleep because it was so late. There was a thunderstorm that night and everything felt really peaceful and nice.

Sunday 19th


On Sunday I had trouble getting up and then I started to get really sick and I found out I had left my glasses over in Bedford and I just found myself wasting the day in feeling sick and getting grumpy, and Felicia stopped by because she was thinking of going, but the fact that it would be crowded turned off, which I could totally understand.
So finally, after I had donned some striped socks (hidden) in honor of Tim Burton, I headed over to meet Jake at the F on 2nd Ave at 3:45pm, I don't think I got there until 3:50 though.
I felt terrible on the train and felt bad that Jake had to deal with such a bummer of a companion.
We made our way past the Rockefeller Rockette's matinee crowd and through the courtyard 52nd St to the MOMA.
It was crowded and the lady at the counter informed us that no more people would be admitted to the Tim Burton exhibit due to large crowds and that paying $20 would get you in to screenings, but buying the screening ticket alone got you only that.
A little disheartened, we walked two doors down to the screening building and found that a pleasing amount of Tim Burton's sketches, doodles and large polaroids (something I really want to work out how to do) on display.
I rushed to the toilet, while Jake wandered around. I was probably in the toilet for about a half hour, too much information? Don't worry, nothing too disgusting was going on in there, it was mainly just feeling awful and after a while of just sitting there, the lights in the bathroom were accidentally turned off and nobody turned them on, and I felt very calm, like I was in my own little shell. It made me feel relaxed and I was able to gain enough composure to exit my 'locker' and venture out into the world.
Jake met me with exciting news, he found a way into the exhibit! I plan to one day become a member of the MOMA, so I don't really feel guilty about this. But he led me around a corner and there we were, past the security and in the museum.
We knew we wouldn't get into the Tim Burton exhibit, but I knew that Monet's Water Lilies were on display somewhere and we searched around a few corners until we found it. The art work was amazing, and almost becomes a visual illusion when you look at it from either side. The painting in person was a lot different to the print I had pinned to my wall. I actually thought that maybe I didn't own a print of the Water Lilies but something else, but no, that's it, it's colour has just been heightened.
Then we found some seats for the screening and watched Frankenweenie and Ed Wood and I used my sunglasses to see the films, because they were both in black and white, the polarized lenses actually made the film look cleaner.
I really love the film about Ed Wood. I remember when my Mum was watching it in 2005, I said, 'What are you watching? It looks stupid?' I immediately regretted it after I actually sat down and watched and then watched it again later. And now I know this man who knows one of the last living members of Ed Wood's team and who knows, if I'm lucky, might be a part of the new Plan 9 (I'm not holding my breath) and I felt very happy to be a part of the universe, even just a tiny inch of it.
Jake left Josh and I to wander the halls and then I was off home, where Luke threw my blanket on me and we both watched 3 episodes of Mad Men, while I dipped a spoon in a peanut butter and a strawberry jelly jar. We also had tea. It was a nice ending to a fairly painful day at first.

Ugh... I'm not proud of my writing but I wanted this recorded. I'll add some pictures later.

Wednesday, 25 November 2009

"This Christmas!" Says The Movie Trailer Man

Can anyone else imagine this being a 75 minute holiday movie? I can. I want to watch it this Christmas.

awkwardfamilyphotos - this great moment submitted by Rachel

You're A Good Man, Caitlin H-Wait, What!?

Good Memory Times!

Aw. Stumbled on photos of the school books we all created during our production of You’re A Good Man, Charlie Brown. Guess which character owns which book? I was Linus.


Oh wait, that gave it away...


I adored performing with the people I admired most in the theatre group. These were the people I grew up watching and now I was acting along side them and learning a lot. I still wasn't a very strong singer, but I made up for it in doing a good character voice and enthusiasm.


It made me sad that the performance closed a day early because we were meant to perform at a different theatre but it didn't happen.


My favourite moment though will always be that simple poke (as in poking someone, a gesture, nothing else, gosh!)

Tabby Cat

sarawho:

Tumblr | Facebook: Inbox| Free-TvShows.com- Buffy: School Hard | textsfromlastnight| livejournal |

I think I abuse ‘Open New Tab’. Ahem, New York Production Listings | TV Pilot Production Listings | Facebook Animations | The Drifter and the Gypsy | Bluebird Vintage Official Blog | Blood Cell | Actorfest NY 2009 | Article on Technology and Imagination in the Acting Process | Facebook | Annual College Guide | Los Angeles Production Listings | Spotlight on Dance | YouTube: New York Times: Tom Cruise | Yo-Yo Ma: Music | YouTube: Theater Talk channel | YouTube: New York Magazine Channel | YouTube: Grizzly Bear - Ready, Able | Take180.com | Time Out New York: Free things to do in NYC | TONY: 101 things to do in NYC | Annex / Hell’s Kitchen Flea Market

… yeah, my iMac isn’t very happy with me right now. It hasn’t slept in days, poor thing.

UPDATE: I just saved and closed the tabs and put it to sleep. Maybe it will stop grumbling now...

Do The iTunes Shuffle

Put your iTunes on shuffle. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

These are my answers. I adore these random things. And wow, I always find that the answers hit the nail on the head.

EDIT: Or are completely weird. Any edits with a ‘/’ were only added after pressing Next ONCE (or twice, but no songs were skipped)

Found: smalltownwitch

IF SOMEONE SAYS ‘ARE YOU OKAY’ YOU SAY?
In Church (Cyann & Ben Version) - Stranger Than Fiction Soundtrack

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
Humble Me - Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings - 100 Days, 100 Nights

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Imma Be
(err?) - Black Eyed Peas - The E.N.D

/ Black Horse and the Cherry Tree - KT Tunstall - Eye to the Telescope

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
You Can Stay The Night (campfire version) - Clare Bowditch & The Feeding Set - The Moon Looked On

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
Still In Love With You - Jonas Brothers - Jonas Br-ah, fuck. I’m meant to be a heartbreaker? Have you seen me, randomtumblrreblogthing?

/ See You At The Show - Nickleback - The Long Road NOOOO! This album was a gift... Sigh, I shouldn't pretend that I don't like it... Damn.

/ Making Christmas - Danny Elfman - Nightmare Before Christmas Yes, I’m cheating. But can you blame me? This will do. Especially after seeing the Tim Burton exhibit. A fine life this would be.

WHAT’S YOUR MOTTO?
Fresh Vegetable Really? “I’m gonna love you like a fresh vegetable” Really? - Tony Rebel

/ It’s Like Reaching For The Moon - Billie Holiday

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Verisimilitude - Thomas Newman - Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Millionaire - A. R. Rahman feat. Madhumitha - Slumdog Millionaire Soundtrack

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
The Lost Song - The Cat Empire

WHAT IS 2 + 2?
Viva la Persistance - Kimya Dawson

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
The Banquet - John Williams - Hook Soundtrack Emily and I do love to eat!

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Le Moulin - Yann Tiersen - Le Fabuleux Destin d’Amelie Poulain Soundtrack

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Anna (Go To Him) - The Beatles - Please Please Me

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Hide and Seek - Imogen Heap That’s pretty miserable. If we’re talking Imogen Heap, I would have said, Goodnight and Go : )

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Mean To Me - Billie Holiday with Teddy Wilson & His Orchestra Oh my!

/ Ciranda - Marcio Faraco

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Public Warning - Lady Sovereign This is just getting worse… or just hilarious

/ The Boat - Melissa Laveaux

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST
The 3:10 to Yuma - Marco Beltrami - Soundtrack

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
France - Kimya Dawson - Remember That I Love You

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Hurricane - Faker

WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
Summertime - Porgy & Bess

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
True Love’s Kiss - Amy Adams & James Marsden - Enchanted (haha, fuck yeah!)

TUMBLR IS?
Pas de Cheval (in ballet we use that term for the move, ‘step of the horse’) “it’s the greatest thing you’d ever imagine, but you’ll never know until you’re there!” - Panic At The Disco

Monday, 16 November 2009

Tumblr Summary #1

For the last few days I've been uploading a picture and then later adding a summary of the day and its highlights. Due to tumblr having awesome features, this is something that I am confident will continue for a while - unlike my infrequent and often dissatisfying bursts on here, dailybooth, blogtv and youtube.

One thing that may not happen frequently is me creating a summary of these tumblr posts for you and also me... but here's hoping!

I'll upload larger images next time. You can read the text if you have super-human strength eyes OR by right clicking and opening a New Tab.

Saturday November 14th
Friday November 13th
Thursday November 12th
Wednesday November 11th

I just remember Tuesday being stressful but I had a training session afterwards which made me feel good about myself.

Monday November 9th

My plans for this week are to:
  1. Go to work early every day
  2. Go to gym twice
  3. Successfully complete my Creative Writing and Beginner's Painting Classes
  4. Divide any spare time into reading, writing, listening to music, editing photos, editing videos, maybe a blogtv chat to thank a certain special someone and organizing my work life AND being more proactive about School, Theatre, Dance, and my Show Ideas/Scripts etc.
I'm trying to not let this year be a total waste of time.

Good luck everyone xo


Saturday, 24 October 2009

Temper, Temper..

*I threw an umbrella at Luke's head because he annoyed me by walking fast out of the cinema and not basking in the cold glow of the Pandorum credits...

...I need to work on my temper...

Or I just need to hit him harder.

IMPORTANT UPDATE: I'm fucking hungry.

*this was also written in late September

It Made Me Laugh When...

(this was written, 28th Sep)...I was about to twitter how excited I was to have cleared out the inbox for all seven of the emails I have and then I saw the gorgeous Spricket's tweet about winning an Emmy and I realized that there I was, wearing snowflake socks, a gumby t-shirt and didn't have an Emmy.

Even now it makes me crack up at how wonderfully and hilariously different two lives can be.



"oh well!"

The Paper Tells Me To Set It On Fire

new posts that were initially written a while ago...
My To Do list tells me to do this, even though it is from September 23rd. I want to cross off everything. So here, I dive.

The September Issue


Watching the film with Molly and Luke
In the Landmark Sunshine Theatre,
Fashion comes together as if by a fluke
In clothes I am a naught but an amateur.

Grace Coddington shines with wit and bite,
Anne Wintour commands my respect,
Shaping the world with little respite,
It is truly amazing; the world they affect.

Haha, yes! My To Do List told me that instead of just saying a film was nice or awesome, I must try to review the films with poetry. My knowledge of poetry is strictly limited, thus this shapeless verse. Hopefully my poems about films can only get better... or at least hilariously worse?

But wait, it's not safe! There's more!

Paper Heart
Charlyne Yi almost purposefully awkward and stubborn
Stumbles about on screen
With little affect on my heart strings and
a burning desire to shout,
you fool, love is nothing, it's there!

Diggity done. It's going to feel so good when I slash my pen against the crisp beige paper!

P.S: Also, after seeing Paper Heart, Molly and Sam departed and Felicia and I headed home to play Rock Band, while Brooke, fairly gloomy, craved adventure.

Well, she got it. We had only just seen Butterflies and Ester, the lovely filmmaker and gone out on the town for buttery nipples and then wine at the KGB bar, where two Australians were actually nice for a change...

That's just the backstory, Ester calls us up on Saturday night mentioning the fabulous words, you don't have to pay for anything. This of course, excites us, alcohol and good times out usually being excited. As tired as I was, I decided we should brave it.

A few hours later, two bottles of Belvedere and out table is a little empty, Brooke is well, indisposed and being taken home and I'm wonderfully drunk of my two part vodka drinks and shots and talking to everyone. Felicia, taking on the Mum role hands me a water, and I gladly drink it down.

Watching Brooke err, do her thing, made me feel, well, a little ill myself, and so, out back by the service entrance, I bent neatly down behind the recycables and began to throw up, once, twice, thrice, each time squirting my bottle and the brownish water, washing it away.

I smell a little of puke but the cab is full and I am to stay and party on. I clean myself up, dance, drunk text Jake, and dance and dance, all the while Ester's boyfriend is taking photo after photo of us. "When do I get to see my blackmail pictures?" I joked.

Felicia came back and we continued to dance and laugh and have a merry old time, and then it was getting late and Felicia decided we should go home. I got a reasonable way in the taxi but the stop-starts made me feel sick, so I asked to walk. We walked, I got into bed, death-rattled for a bit and woke up in the morning feeling rather positive about it all.

GREAT TIMES!

Wednesday, 23 September 2009

Grace, Inaction, Print and Four Pirogi's, Fried


The red numbers on the computer screen depressed me to the point of immobility, not that it's hard for me to not do anything or stay still, why it seems that it's my ultimate past time in this city, but my doubt in action bringing change kept me upright on my vanity stool.

Little moans and whines escaped me and drifted through the bedroom door, but my neighbour, Brooke, preoccupied with Germany and getting to it, did not react. I did not expect her too, nor did I want any sympathy, since when she see's red I am impatient and offer blunt advice, however that didn't stop the whines coming out anyway.

I lingered mostly in my bedroom, said goodbye to Brooke who was leaving about 3 or 4 hours early for her flight, and went back to being still, not asleep, just still.

Eventually, after 2 episodes of Glee had been watched and a sufficient amount of guilt had built up, I got ready, sucked up the queasy feeling that has been following me for some time (don't even say it, it's more emotional than physical) and headed to work... At four in the afternoon.

The walk was long and hot and I was dressed for Fall not the last breaths of Summer, my t-shirt was tight and made me feel self-conscious. I like wearing it, I just always feel self-conscious while wearing "statement" t-shirts.

I saw Jake leave the office in his black leather jacket and cigarette in hand, stalking through the crowd to his many things he has to do to be responsible and awesome. I like watching people I know from far away. It's like watching celebrities or theatre. They are often in your life, but at this moment, you are nothing but matter to them. I like that feeling. The world feels wider.

Work... Or The Desk I Sit At was okay. I went through emails and found myself once again on WhatTheBuck's channel page, I haven't been on one persons YouTube page so frequently since I up an got a boner for Natalie Tran. Don't worry, it's a distant boner. Very safe. A wee bit less creepy.

I also told David about my weekend which you can read about here (will link soon) and he told me about his; it involved praying and really good Mum-cooked food, the best kind. I'm hungry just thinking about it.

I alerted Molly during our pre-show phone call that I was wearing her gift tee "Internet Enthusiast" not in an attempt to frighten her but as the last clean tee I could wear. I liked what I was wearing and everything else was in messy piles or needed washing and v-neck tees aren't doing it for me at the moment. Molly thanked me for making her gift-tee a last resort and said she'd take a photo of it, but she didn't have a camera. I suggested she burn it into her retina... and then I went to pee.

I was a few minutes early than the time we said we'd meet which is always a victory for me. My feet were hurting so I left earlier so that I could walk slower. It was an interesting walk, a path I don't often take in that direction, however the many people walking the same way as me made me uncomfortable.

I greeted Molly and Luke and we went in, I had packed this shortbread from England that my Mum had sent me and a Sprite from the office fridge, and Molly had already bought me a diet Coke and Luke bought popcorn so we were doing very well.

Only once while watching the film, The September Issue, did I feel weird for eating so much while watching thin women dominate the world and even thinner women make it look good. Then a particularly charming model bit into what looked like some kind of chocolate and berry tart or pie, and I grabbed another handful of popcorn.

I've decided to never again review movies in my usual way of a few adjectives strung together. In public lately, unless moved by others to speak aka blatantly throwing my opinion on their unprotected ears, I have taken to saying even less; this film was: "Interesting" and the last film I saw, Paper Heart, was "Nice".

So next time I mention a film I'll try to discuss it in different ways. Look out for it...you.

The cinema at the Sunshine was more crowded than I thought it would be and a woman behind us started coughing in short bursts just as the film began. I am usually okay with noise in the theatre but the person in question was silent for the trailers and just seemed to start when the film did and was also right above me; It made me feel icky. I didn't do anything about it, though I did find my head instinctively whip to the side on one particular cough and I didn't want to look like that jerk that jerks their head around to somehow protest the noise, so I made my head whip to the other side so the woman didn't think I was trying to make a statement with my head. Then Luke coughed and I whispered loudly without thinking, " Don't you fucking start," ...I have very little grace.

Grace Coddington however, is amazing. Her ideas made me want to go online and buy the old September Issue in question and I was left with more respect for the whole creative side of fashion. I did understand, as much as an ignorant girl can, Anna Wintour's choices of what shouldn't appear in the issue, but seeing such lavish photos so neatly chopped without so much as a lament made me realize how tough a woman has to be in a fairly easy world. I mean, heck, (I said heck!) these women aren't explorer's or doctor's or activists but so good at Distraction. It's not a good thing either, but I think this race needs it for now.

Afterward we walked up to Veselka and Molly and I had pirogi's, which were good... "Not that I know what a good pirogi tastes like," says Luke.

A sucker for the power of suggestion, I went by the stuffed news agency on Avenue A and picked up two Vogue's and a New Yorker magazine, a publication I knew I would always enjoy and I did, I like the writers styles, the cartoons and the first few pages are already covered in red circles and underlines.

A new roommate comes today to replace Brooke, I have a lot to do to make room for her, I have been very messy this month.

I need to play Pretend again. That's the only way I can fool myself into thinking that even having so many possessions is a good thing.

*image used without permission from this awesome person*

Saturday, 19 September 2009

Cups Of Tea and Empty Pockets

One's Cup of Tea...
  • black sequins (I know, I finally fell for the tricksy trendsetters)
  • chunky silver and yellow bracelets together (it looks surprisingly good)
  • oversize white cardigans (I'm spying on pieces designed by Inhabit, which mainly consists of sweaters and cardigans and the dreams of stay at home mum's, librarians and lonely window sills
I don't have any of these things, just so you know. I just like them.

I have $2.75 and I enjoy acting like the first person in the world to ever be low of money.

Honestly, dramatics aside, I don't find it depressing. I've been through this many times this year and at the end of last year for some time and I only found it frustrating when bills or bank fees or automatic payments came along, other than that, I enjoy searching for ways to stretch a dollar.

TIP:
  • The .99 cent 'eggs, toast and potato' meal and one of the Gray's Papaya (hot dog) places are really not worth it. I recommend spending a little extra and going to The Great Bagel Shop/Place where they have a dollar coffee and $2 egg on a roll or a bagel for .92 cents.
RECIPE:
  • My ideal cheapy dinner is my Shrimp-Flavoured Ramen Omelet. OH. EM. GEE. It's amazing. I'll post a picture of it later, but here's what you do!
  • Break up your Ramen, cover in water, and put in the microwave for 2 minutes.
  • Break 2 or 3 eggs into a cup, mix with a fork, add Shrimp flavouring (or any flavouring), mix and stir in pepper if you like.
  • Oil a frying pan well and set the heat to high, pour in the mix so that it fills the pan then...
  • Pour out the water using a colander (strainer) and toss around your noodles for a bit, then pour them onto one side of the omelet
  • Make sure you've nudged the sides of the omelet to keep it neat!
  • Then use the spatula to fold the omelet over the noodles and let heat for a little longer
  • And then wah-lah, whenever you think its cooked or your stomach grumbles louder, means it time to slide it on to a plate.
  • Add veges if you have them and then munch!
Sweet, ramen-y goodness!


Wednesday, 10 June 2009

The Attack On Mac Fat

Oh, Internet. What have you done?

Not only have you unleashed millions of people onto the world with all their talent, lack of talent and quirks, but you have launched successful companies and challenged others to almost breaking point.

You are reshaping the world as we know it, and for something so remarkable you belong almost entirely in cords and frustrating devices.

I own many of these devices, and I am only just working off the damage they have caused me... or, to be more precise, the damage I have caused myself by not engaging with them appropriately.

I quit ballet, to pursue theatre, and then discovered the Internet, and then discovered 19 year old narcissism and all it's passion and fury, and then discovered "bird neck" (peering into the screen as if I was trying to fall through), and the "Mac Fat Slouch" (where one deflates as hate-comments suck your self-respect out of your body) and other such things as "WTF Eye Syndrome" (where one forgets to turn on the lights as it gets dark because they are too busy peering incredulously at someone's or ones own obnoxious tweets/videos/blogs/photos/tumblr posts etc) and "Unhappy Heart Arm" (in which one experiences terrible pain that makes them feel that they are having a heart attack, when it is really just the Text Message inducing repetitive-stress injury...thing. Ahem.)

Before I Continue: I am not trying to offend anyone with my own goals and dislike of these devices, some people are gorgeous and use the Internet more than me. It is all up to the user, this just happens to be my personal problem. But maybe you share a similar issue? Let me know.

I am now trying to train myself to sit upright, to rescue the skin from "Bird Neck".

I try to rest my eyes or exercise them as much as possible, and try to spend plenty of time away from the computer.

And the Ears! I almost forgot the "iPod Ears", from listening to music too loud, constantly, to avoid truly facing the real world/people/life at that moment in time. I no longer listen to my iPod. A fairly easy habit to break out of. Since then I see more, I bite my lip more out of awkwardness, and I can greet the people who say, "How you doing, sexy?" It is refreshing and I feel less alone.

I have developed an odd habit of listening to my music alphabetically every morning in the bathroom. I started at 'J', I am now on to 'L' and I am happy.

And then there is Mac Fat, my main issue, from almost 3 years of deflation. I no longer spend every day in a studio "pulling up" and spend most of it sitting down, which I detest, but it is necessary for the time being. So, for the last four weeks I have been working out with a trainer.

I decided I needed a trainer when I went to the gym and started pedaling and realized that I didn't know what the fuck I was doing.

So I got a trainer, and thought I was working out for an hour a week, and I thanked my trainer for always letting me off 15 minutes early, even though it was my money I was wasting (I am rather weak). However, the training sessions are actually supposed to last for half an hour and he's been working with me for 15 minutes extra. Half an hour. A week. That does almost exactly nothing for my Mac Fat.

So, on my way to Whole Foods with Brooke to get the required "brown rice and grilled chicken" (though I fried mine out of habit - argh) I realized that I had to create a new habit.

They say (They being Old Guys) that the minimum amount of time that you need to exercise for to stay healthy is 30 minutes... and my training session is for 30 minutes at 7:30pm.

So if I get into the habit of changing for training on my own every evening (when events like movies and dinners are not getting in the way, as they rightly should) and begin at 7:30pm every evening, I will start to see some improvement.

After a week or two of this, I will most likely be comfortable with going to the Yoga classes at the gym and also going to Dance classes somewhere appropriate for an ex-ballet student who hasn't worked at the 'barre' for 3 years with Mac Fat and then... and then... well, oh gee whiz golly, I'm sure I'll be healthier, leaner and happier with my appearance and therefore all I have to work on is the deflated self-confidence on the inside.

It is a long journey, but as I've said before, and I'll say again, I'm a Thursday's Child and I have far to go.

Love The Stereotypical Work Out Then Go To Whole Foods Girl and The Blind Love for Lean.

Thursday, 28 May 2009

Habits

For the last couple of weeks I have been researching the art of creating habits and keeping them.

All the websites dedicated to organization say the same thing: start small to work to that something big and it all seems fairly simple. It just comes down to your own will power.

I know that I want to be more active, get more projects done, work towards those little goals that lie under the large umbrella that is my dreams, and write more. Write, write, write.

I'm so concerned with forgetting my memories that I start to get really depressed when I say to myself, 'You need rest, it's 2am, you can't write tonight.'

I also had to make a video for work today and I just looked awful. I had applied light makeup, brushed my hair and seemed fairly pleasant looking in the mirror, but the lens was picking up puffiness and lines and dark circles. With a turn of my head, I instantly saw myself at 40 years old and was horrified.

"What is happening to my face?" I asked out loud, in horror.

"Stress, tiredness," Jake replied simply.

Stress. Feeling tired. Well that seems fairly accurate. The last couple of weeks have been quite stressful, dramatic and uncomfortable. I wasn't able to get to sleep before 2am on most nights. And though for the past 2 days I've been getting out of bed around 7 and 8, I still haven't gotten to bed early enough.

Emma Watson, who I simply adore, goes to bed at 9pm when she is working. I would like to try this. I doubt I'll even be able to do it. If I did decide to try it, that would mean that I have less than 3 hours to get home, have dinner, do something creative and fulfilling (other than constantly loading tumbles) or just watch some content. That's nutso. NUTSO.

Oh lordy. Now it's 7pm! I got caught tumbling again. I'd have to go to bed in TWO HOURS! The sun will have barely set.

I will try to post something more enlightening each day from now. But I'm sure all who follow me know me well enough now, to rip out my promises and let the wind carry them away.

The Beaded Bracelet and the Fizzing Can of Sprite.

Thursday, 23 April 2009

Boom Goes The Rocket!

Well, hello! As you may have noticed around the Internets, for the past two days I've been helping out Rocketboom by dabbling as host of Rocketboom. Yeah, I know. Super scary huge shoes to fill.

I, like many of you, was shocked to hear that Joanne was leaving and was even more shocked when Andrew asked me if I would like to help.

Trust me, I suggested every one to fill that lone seat before me, but I do enjoy the show and think every one that works at the Rocketboom office is amazingly talented, clever and intelligent and do hope that some of that rubs off of me while I can still hang around.

The last thing I ever said to Joanne was while she was in between shooting interviews at ROFLThing. I was like, "Hey, it's professional Joanne!" and she was like, "Ha, professional Joanne? I kind of like that" and then I was like, "She spoke to me!" and ran away and cried into my screen-printed Joanne pillow.

And it was beautiful.

If I don't remain Rocketboom host, hopefully I'll still be able to talk about Space & Science every now and again. Honestly, when I read those stories and scripts I'm always gasping and am amazed at the discoveries. I wouldn't really get to learn about what was happening in those fields if it wasn't for Rocketboom and I did oh-so-love learning about Space in Primary School :P and deeply regretted opting out of Science in Year 10 at High School (when my favourite teacher left to be an artist, all my faith in learning about it died).

Some of the constructive criticism I already knew:
  • Enunciate each word - I've had that problem forever. Maybe I should see a speech coach or something. I'm fairly sure it has to do something with having a lazy Aussie-accent type mouth, but I know I can change that
  • Make over - I've never been a fan of make up (wore it all the time for concerts and dance competitions and theatre since I was 3 years old) or ever cared about my hair (use to just wear it in a bun for ballet all day), but if I keep getting Melissa Joan Hart comments I will have to either decide to care about it or kill myself. Honestly, there is no alternative road. Look different or die. I do NOT want to be MJH at all. It's such a terrible curse... Don't worry, even I can't tell if I'm joking or not.
  • Be yourself - I don't even know who that is. But I will try to develop my own flavour. But I'm pretty boring. I love to be dreadfully serious or a class-clown prat. Let's see if I can actually learn some grace, hmm?
  • Lose weight - I'm not sure if this is actually constructive. I am surprised by how many people think I am fat. It's quite shocking, actually, because it just goes to show you how the definition of fat has changed in people's mind over the years. I'll aim to be healthier and stronger anyway.
There were a lot of other suggestions, like growing up. I am 20 years old and am still hoping to continue aging so either way, eventually your wish will be fulfilled.

Tweet at us at rocketboom and thatgirlonline

And here are the episodes in case you did not see them or just want to watch them again because that map is just so bloody fabulous.





This is a really amazing opportunity for me to learn a lot of new things and myself, but don't forget that I'm still hard at work as the Chief Creative Officer at Hitviews - an amazing place that will guarantee you don't get forgotten as the online UGC world tries to become a 2nd Television.

Love, Caitlin.

Wednesday, 22 April 2009

Plane Thoughts: JFK to LAX to BNE*

*The following entry is from my iPhone Notepad. I would go into more detail about my trip to Australia, but I'd rather save it for my journal.

BEFORE FLIGHT

See you next time, City

  • This is the nicest Frequent Flyers Club I've seen in a while; apple juice and portobello mushrooms and roasted pepper wraps with shrimp curry sandwiches and apple juice.

  • Usually these "clubs" are just a "big toilet and musty armchair club", but the British Airways/One World club at JFK was finally worth that gold QANTAS frequent flyer card.

JFK to LAX

I like aisle seats, but I do love the view!

  • Song: Quasimodo's Dream by The Reels - Dad use to play this song a lot and when it came onto the earphones of the QANTAS radio I freaked out as all the childhood memories rushed forward to play behind my eyes.

  • Happy-Go-Lucky reminds me of my friend Emily. I admire those traits she possesses but also know that I am no where near as compassionate enough as this unusual lady is. I possess one of personality quirks they show in the film, and it was interesting to watch it and go, "I know that...oh, oh dear... I really shouldn't do that anymore." I wont tell you what it is.

  • Like the QANTAS HQ person said, there are many seats available on this flight, but she said there were none from LAX to BNE, so how in the world did the Gate Master (as I am calling him now) get me on this flight?

  • I don't mind sitting at the very back of the plane; more leg room... but there are far too many off-putting smells...and the nice girl sitting next to me (she really is nice) just spilt balsamic vinegar all over me and my new UNIQLO top.

LAX to BNE

Pacific Ocean Sunrise

  • Well, we all just made it. I love flying but a large part of the LAX airport sucks. And hey, look, a spare seat between me and a young girl; leg room!

  • Wait a minute... Someone at the ticketing office tried to squeeze over $1500 out for me for a "booked-out" flight but there are empty seats everywhere! There are even a few rows of four occupied by only one person... and look, that guy is lying down! Thank goodness the Gate Master let me on.

  • While watching Revolutionary Road (what a crime to watch films on a tiny square screen!) I was filled with hope instead of sadness**.

  • iPhones or anything with a Bitten Apple on it seem to be the fashion icon that cigarettes were then*** Just like one would constantly light up anywhere at anytime to take the edge off real life, we too light up our screens and thumb away at our day or plug up our ears instead of constantly facing the moment; the dullness of everyday life. Why do we try to speed up time? Shouldn't we be always trying to wind the clock back on anything and everything but our faces? See each second tick? Or is it easier to make things go faster when you feel like you are a part of the "hopeless emptiness" of life?

  • Song: Blue Note Trip by Various on In The Winelight.

  • What a beautiful descent into Australia. Often you hear the engines revving up and down as it the humongous aircraft tries to hit its mark so that all the passengers and crew do not perish upon landing, but this pilot was able to get it spot on. For miles we simply glided down towards the run way, we didn't tilt, we didn't shake... the air was so still and calm and it was the most marvelous landing I have ever been a part of. I wanted to clap to congratulate the pilot. If anyone else wanted to do the same thing or realized the amazing achievement he had just pulled off, they didn't show it.

Thanks, QF108!

BNE INT AIRPORT to STH BNE STATION

Brissy!

"Christ! $16.40!? For a single!?"
"Yes,"
"It's gotten worse..."
"Excuse me?" I could tell the train station attendant was pissed at my muffled comment.
"The fair gets worse every time I come back,"
"Hm. Oh." She said shortly in a high pitched voice that I could tell translated into: Fuck. You.

$16.40!?

I didn't mean any offense, it just made me nostalgic for the days when they use to boast about the fair only being $9. $13 if you were traveling from Beenleigh.

"From the city to the airport
In 20 minutes flat,
From the city to the airport
For 9 bucks max!
Air Train, woo woo!"

Oh, those were days.

The weather here feels like... nothing. In New York it's always some kind of weather; something to talk about it. It's either a hot bath or very cold. I wouldn't mind the cold if it were not for the winds... This weather this morning simply feels like...nothing; very little breeze, little humidity; it's 7:30am in the morning.

There is a little sweat condensed on my back, but mainly from wearing too many layers and carrying heavy bags. I kind of like the feeling though. It's making my bra itch a little bit, but it reminds me of school or something; that comfortable discomfort.

At one point, while writing this down, I suddenly felt pressed down. As if my body knew, which I'm sure it did, that it was no longer flying.

The platform moved slightly as the train approached.

From then on, the trip was a whirlwind and I knew I wouldn't breath until I returned to New York City... which is a pity, because the air isn't always exactly pleasant...

***

I can't believe I actually typed all this into my iPhone. What silly, unnecessary thoughts. This is what happens when you fly alone. Which makes me wonder what it would be like to simply travel alone and put all your comments and thoughts into a tape recorder... I wonder if I could ever be bold enough to do that?
I don't know... Sounds like a prelude to Krapp, 39 to me.

**The sadness came later and is lasting.
***I'm referring to the time period in which the movie is set, 1950-something, and wow, Caitlin! What an unoriginal, uninspired thought!

Missed Flights and 50-Dollar Taxis



...after this tweet we arrived at the airport and I hurriedly, with heavy bags in each hand, walked into the terminal to check in to QF 108.

The day had been "blah" due to work assignments (aka a video) needing to be created, edited and exported that day and I also had to pack.

This usually wouldn't be a problem except my love for video making has dwindled terribly into a chore and I could not find any inspiration for the task at hand.

I quickly edited it, shrugged over the fact that the sound levels were awful, and sent it off and continued packing until after 5pm.

Any normal person with a flight leaving at 7pm, would probably be worried by now. But not I! I had arrived at the same terminal months before at 6:30pm and was allowed to board (forgetting that it was most likely only still open due to the plane being delayed for 20 minutes). I had also conveniently forgotten about the holiday traffic, so instead of the usual 40 minutes to JFK, the cab driver mumbled that it would be an hour.

That's when I started to get nervous...and started to tweet.

"Are you here for QANTAS!?" A blonde, scary looking woman barked at me.
"Y-"
"The flight's closed. You can't check in."
...
"Really?"
"You'll have to go to the Ticketing Desk and get another ticket!"

The shrill twang of her voice and my own disappointment in myself (and disbelief that there was still an empty seat on a plane that wouldn't fly for another 40 minutes - add an extra 20 for taxing on the runway) made me simply stare along the counter looking for someone nice. When there were no nice people, I turned around, looked up, looked down and started to cry.

In my peripheral vision, I could see a sweetly plump lady greet the scraggly blonde woman and through the voice in my head yelling, "You're an idiot, Caitlin!" heard "Oh no!"

Aha! Someone with compassion! The pigtail plaits had worked!*

The lady came over to me and asked me if I would like to come with her and see what she could do, I just blubbered and followed her.

"Take it from me, never cry over a missed flight!" A lady at the desk offered... but all her wisdom made me think of was that maybe tomorrow's flight was meant to crash and then all I heard were lines from Hook.

About half an hour later of crying deeply (the sort of cries you made as a 7 year old when you accidentally left your party invitation in your desk at school and now didn't know where to go or who to call to partake in the "partying"), a swapping over of people to take care of me (I made no trouble apart from needing a tissue to stem the flow of miserable mucus), a call to QANTAS HQ; "$1500.00, why? Because the flight is full and she'd have to upgrade? Hmm", and a fairly flirty call between my helper and the "Gate Guy" at the QANTAS Boarding Gate; I was able to get on tomorrows flight free of charge.

"How did he do that?"
"Don't ask! Don't think about it!"

I thanked the lovely people and hailed a taxi cab home, relieved that the flight would not cost any extra money, but disappointed that I would have to change plans with my friends and would now be arriving on the day of Tamika and Dan's wedding, which was the reason I was returning to Oz.

I did tweet that I missed my flight, but quickly deleted it realizing that I didn't really want too many people to know and @reply me with "Awws" and "Solutions", instead I texted my friends to change plans, then my roommates with 2 requirements only: pizza and some sort of alcohol.

That night turned out to be fun, there was pizza, my own favourite concoction of inappropriate drink - like the NYUers below our apartment don't dabble in inappropriateness every night anyway - then there was Hitch (shh, Will Smith is The Word!) and dancing and then well...yeah, it was fun.

I woke up the next day, my fairly tidy room glowing from the morning sun, and felt good about things. And left for the airport at 3pm.

*I always wear pigtail plaits when traveling internationally because not only does it keep your hair fairly appropriate looking and lacks the need to pack a brush, it also (and most importantly) makes you look much younger than you actually are. So instead of being a 20 year old idiot, I become a 16 year old idiot. People treat 16 year old idiots a lot nicer...well, at least those who have a vagina anyway.

Wednesday, 1 April 2009

My Mum Thinks I Swear Too Much Online...


(this is an old forgotten post)

The last time I spoke with my Mother, a day after her birthday, she told me that she had noticed an uprising of vulgar language surrounding my good name... so I told her to fuck off.

; )"oh, how original"

Tuesday, 24 March 2009

The First Page...


page one., originally uploaded by hrrrthrrr.

The first page of a journal is often a disappointment for me. This lovely lady took a different approach for battling Page One jitters and created something great.

Sometimes, I'll look back through my journal and be disappointed. I'll wish that I had made more entries or drawn more or wrote more clearly, and sometimes I often find myself filling up the pages of my journal just so I can start a new one and start again.

I think that is why I enjoy stationery shops so much. There is so much hope within blank pages, and something magical about how it is all put together.

Maybe its ancient tree magic? Hmm... All I know is that a blank page can contain so much beauty, and I will hopefully spend my entire life aiming for that sweet satisfaction of a relieving journal entry or twinkle of pride for a good drawing... just little, simple things... perhaps with a veranda bathed in morning sunshine and nice cup of tea...

Friday, 20 March 2009

Internet People (Who Are You?) and Little Cat Lost

To skim through this blog quickly, only read the large text, the smaller text are unnecessary ramblings from your one and only...

Living 24-7 with Internet people with barely any other friends or contacts in a hyper-intense city can be fucking stressful, yo
.

I've been adding 'yo' to the end of a lot of my sentences lately, which reminds me, I must stop...yo. DAMMIT! So close to glory. It always alludes me.

I've been feeling very sulky and sad for the last couple of days because I've been sick and I hate being sick, and I am extremely into the bright-eyed world of Internet Consumption right now and dislike being pulled away from guzzling on the nozzle of my rusty tap of corrosive entertainment.

There is something about crap that I find so endearing. The fact that it was made. It's pungent innocence. I simply adore it. And when I must leave it for the real world aka work, I can not be motivated.

I am disappointed at the fact that I only seem to be able to do a job if I am completely content and inspired.

Today, for example, I did not wake up very happy.

Last night was dramatic in the household and nothing was achieved at all (thought it was nice to see Luke come back and fill his position as Head and Only Male of the House of the Internet), so I went to bed tired and sick and woke up to continuing disappointment.

The only way I could get my groove back was by turing on Pandora and side-stepping out to the Teen Pop stream. There is something about the Disney Teenyboppers, and Popular Music circa 2000-2004 that just gets me back in the right mood. The happy, inspiring, I can do anything mood.

You know what it is? It's a memory. When I was dancing around the house to popular music (and I listen to much more teenybopper music now than I did then) I was younger and excited about the future. Sometimes it was scary, but I knew (in my little, generic pre-real life kills your dreams heart) that I was destined to be something great. So I would dance around my room, my house or in dance class to the pop music of the time. I guess my memory has not yet forgotten the joyous sensations of body movement and performing. I really must get back into it before all is lost.

Ladies and Gentleman, if you can do me a favour and ask me if I've started going to dance class any time we speak, that would be most helpful. An e-punch in the face would also be most appreciated.

There really isn't much else needed to be said, I guess. I've got to take a leaf from Nike and 'just do it'.

I'm very happy with what I do at the moment, that's not a problem. It's about doing more. I did more as a 12 year old than I do now. I use to write and write, books of scripts - complete scripts - stories... I used to draw so much, and these days I would struggle to even compete with my 11 year old self at drawing a cartoon person.

I struggle so much with ideas and inspiration. It's almost like I can't go forward until I complete what I already started creating. I am worried that I am losing that inner-child or inner-cat that finds everything so fascinating and plays there way through life. I must win it back. I will.

It's just fear. When did I become so afraid? I use to bound down staircases as a toddler without holding onto the sides while my brother use to tip toe down them holding on the railings. When did I lose the sense of self-assurance? How can I get it back? When will I stop caring?

Honestly, people... I'm like, the human version of Radio. I'll just keep holding panels and talking about my problems instead of actually doing anything about it... over and over until my 'medium' dies out. Great.

That was depressing! Let's listen to Demi Lovato right fucking now!!!

Wednesday, 18 March 2009

Cool Spring Air, Opinions and A Quiet Night In

There are so many things I want to talk about, that just don't do well on a public blog.

Isn't that sad?

Sometimes, I wish that I had a greater level of anonymity, like I had when I was 16. I was quite public with most of my thoughts on my old blogs, and some people didn't really like it. Or they just thought I was being a silly girl. And I am most of the time.

I am very much enjoying Internet Life lately. I had a lot of fun at Rhett and Link's shoot for their new video (coming out next Monday). I was over-excited about the whole thing, and sometimes that level of energy can turn people off or confuse them, but on that day every one else seemed in a super happy mood too, and I remember laughing a lot.

I really enjoyed taking photos of the other YouTubers splashing around the pool, they are all so expressive. It's very fun to capture. I am looking forward to updating my camera one day, so I can really control the focus.

I fear all the shivering in the cool Spring sun might have made me sick unfortunately. I'm controlling it with Vitamin C and, as I type between mouthfuls, chicken broth (with lots of pepper) and some ginger noodles.

I also realized, while trying to make the broth more enjoyable, that I really don't know how to cook those floppy little mexican wrappy things. Wow. Well done, Caitlin. Good luck with your ignorance.

I'm a little annoyed with myself right now. For reasons I'd rather not divulge. I just always seem to come off the wrong way and misrepresent myself to friends, when I'm really just easygoing and couldn't really give a fuck. I don't have time for anything, and yet I steal so many minutes with caring about other peoples opinions on me.

I love nothing more than to analyze everything, but it does me no good at all, it simply drives me mad.

Anyway, I'm excited for my quiet night in. I'm going to get all my work done, and watch The City and Gossip Girl - for the City, of course, not the silly characters and lack of story-line.

Have you read the latest Vanity Fair? I suggest that you do so, it's a great read! I very much enjoyed the articles on the American Dream and how, through time, it has become something entirely trivial. And all that Bernie Madoff business, what a drama! I'm very glad that I'm minus $150 in the bank by my own causes right now. And I will never, ever, ever Invest. I'll earn what I earn and that is that.

Anyway, that's enough nonsense for tonight. Do you like my new "look" for my blog? This person, MacoMaco is kind enough to let people use his content as long as they are acknowledged. Very awesome, indeed. I wanted something that summed up all I want out of life. Film and Large Fields.

Film and Large Fields.

Love from The Alien Hatching Within The Body and the Messers Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot & Prongs.

P.S: I just realized that my roommates are like, the only people I hang out with.

Tuesday, 10 March 2009

Liquid Meditation and Avoiding The Cannibals


Showers happen every day. Yes. There is always that one shower though that does more than clean your tootsies, it cleans your soul.

Well, not completely, but you walk feeling squeaky clean inside and out and chipper enough to get bruised up and bullied again before the next shower.

These magical showers usually happen for me in the evening, when the purpose is not to be clean for something, but just to feel clean. You put on some music, turn off the lights, and the gray light of winter comes in and says, "What up, girl. You are all alone. This is your moment. Now dance."

And I do. I move in the semi-darkness and feel happy and scrub-a-dub-dub. Feels good.

I love being clean. And as Summer approaches Cleanliness and Getting Fit are moving to the Top of my never ending: Needs Improvement List.

Summer in the City can be awful if don't know how to work it. I need the right products to keep me feeling good, because there is nothing worse then feeling like shit on a hot, stinky day.

I also can't bare to have this little bit of Mac Flab around my hips and stomach, it just does not feel right.

I don't mean to alarm anyone, but I would like to go back to when I was a ballet dancer and working hard. My dancer teacher grabbed me by the arm mid-plie and said, "Stop losing weight." And I loved it.

I was still eating and lazing about, but the daily exercise was enough to shrink any of the holiday weight I had to simply skin and bones. I like skin. And bones. And eating. Never fear, I love eating. I just need to work out more. I don't want to be a rake, I just don't want any of this extra meat.

I do not plan to be eaten.

Love The Necessity of Light, Loose Clothing and a Fruit Cup.

Tuesday, 3 March 2009

Found This. It's Old. Might As Well Post It.

I'm fairly sure I haven't posted this. Still seems relevant. What the hell:

Interactivity @ Mon 11:15am

This year for me, as much as I didn’t want it to be, is all about Interaction.
As my subscribers on YouTube grow and grow, views on my actual videos (not that I would expect anything different at the moment) are receiving some of the lowest views I’ve had for a while, and it is all very interesting.

Last week, for reasons I cannot share with you, I went and looked at other peoples Subscribers and had a peek at some of mine too.

How often have you done this? Well, please do so now, as you will find it incredibly interesting.

The most interesting thing about some of my subscribers and other “Top” people is that most of them don’t even exist. A lot of the accounts have been closed or suspended and yet the count does not differ, I’m sure when YouTube wants to, the subscriber base will dramatically change when these people disappear.

The other question is how many of these subscribers are actually real? There were a lot of people subscribed to some top people and some for me too, that had no details on their account and yet they were all subscribed to the same two people, which I found very curious.

I know that about 2000 of my subscribers are fake, due to their being a massive surge amongst a whole bunch of YouTubers suddenly went up the “Charts” very quickly, I asked Damien, and he showed me that some company had subscribed to a whole bunch of the same people, though we are still not sure who it was.

So, I don’t have 60,000 subscribers, I have somewhere around 58,000 or do I even have that? 56,000? 50,000? 20,000? Or are the views not even real? That’s the hard thing about this Online World, the anonymity of it all paints a thick layer of black paint over this virtual glass, so that, even after you’ve peeled it all off, the glass is still left dirty and nothing is ever clear.

All I know is that I have a dear base of “followers” who are always there, my lucky stars, who watch over me constantly. Most of them have been with me since the dawn of the plague (otherwise known as the day I logged in to YouTube) and have had to endure a lot of disappointments, but hopefully some good times too. To those people, I thank you! You’re lovely.

So, real subscribers or not, this year is still about Interactivity. I find myself up late (5am sometimes) on the computer, gazing into this pixilated world, and finding myself incredibly fascinated! Look at all these amazing people, look at all these tools for communication and look at all these delightful Neopets! Well, that’s me mainly trying to relive my childhood. Since other than MSN and that awful Slipnot Chatroom, Neopets was my introduction to the internet.

Yes sir, I have rediscovered Neopets for the 15th time. Neopets is probably the reason I’m here today. If I had not discovered that site and become obsessed with it, I may never have returned to the library or turned on the computer and discovered my outlet to the world.

So, now YOU, the viewer, have many ways to interact with me and also have your voices and opinions heard.
We have YouTube, and soon I will be releasing my crazy blonde brain onto every video platform that exists, I do not expect to dominate any of these areas or be successful at all, I just want to make sure, that one day, when I can finally sigh and say goodbye, that I have covered every area.

I also have a podcast coming out very soon, and I will be linking you up to that in a Blog very soon – its not going to just be a talk show, but music will be featured until I receive a cease and desist letter ☺

Tommy of Valpocade fame has been hard at work creating a new TheHill88 site, this is a personal project of his, all I’ve done is given him my “blessing”, I am looking forward to seeing what he comes up with and will announce it by creating a video.

I am most excited about launching my Mac site; this site will be purely for photos and random videos, that aren’t even worth uploading. I wanted to create this picture site because as “handy” (and yes, I realize I’m using a lot of sarcastic quotations for this Blog) as sites like MySpace, Facebook and Flickr are for sharing photos, I just end up feeling overwhelmed by the amount of pictures that are uploaded and my Flickr account is not interesting for its just used to get a link to place a background on my YouTube homepage. With this site I’ll be able to post all my photos so its like a digital album, and I will Blog, Twitter, maybe Vlog when new pictures are up for you all to check out.

Why all the effort? Because I want to make sure I don’t disappoint the foolish 17 year old Caitlin, who wanted to be the first Caitlin Hill that came up after googling. I know it’s pointless, but as much as I’m tired of it all, I still love the Internet, just different sides of it.

However, none of this will be worthwhile unless there is some sort of interaction, so here are the sites I’m intrigued by right now, so that maybe we can connect.

http://www.twitter.com/thatgirlonline
http://caitlinhill.tumblr.com
http://www.blogtv.com/People/thatgirlonline


Cheers
Caitlin xox

Sunday, 1 March 2009

Looking Back, Always... - VOX

It's been a long while since I last wrote here. I could have deleted it, but I don't regret my thoughts so I see no point too. But I'm also shy (or is it egotistical?) enough to not want my old thoughts just sitting here, stagnant, rotting.

The interesting thing is... right now, I have nothing to say.

Well, that's not true. I do. I desperately want to pour my heart out. I have to admit, I'm in a lot of pain.

I miss someone very much. He thinks I have abandoned him. The truth is I honestly just don't know what to say.

To him.
To you.

Hi... It's been a while.

Thursday, 12 February 2009

The Internet Makes Me Mean!

Before we begin, I have to say that I very much enjoyed the reviews of your albums. Some of your reviews were hysterical, and I was very jealous of some of your band names and song titles. You are all very clever, and I'm lucky to be connected with you.

I present you with this: <3 ...Yes, its exactly what you think it is... a Lower Than Three.
(I actually have no idea what I'm talking about... I was never a good Math student. Was I wrong?)

Onwards and Upwards!

I awoke Sunday in a frightened state, there was much to do and I did not feel like I was ready. I found something I didn't like, which delayed my packing for Los Angeles, when I was actually meant to be conversing with great people, like John Noble and Joshua Jackson.

When ready, I pack surprisingly efficiently these days, (but my suitcases are never suitable and macs can be dreadful things to carry, so heavy!) I rushed out and got a cab, and then I happened to see my face on Taxi TV, which was very funny for me!

"Look, I'm on the TV!" I said to the cab driver.
"You?" He said, craning his neck recklessly around to look at me, while driving down a busy narrow street.
"Yeah, look! I'm on!"

Quite silly, really. I usually try to keep my cool. I don't know why I'm so caught up on appearing jaded. I think I mix excitement with big "headedness"...and show disinterest because I believe it makes me look modest, when it actually makes one look rude and arrogant.

Anyway, I filmed the moment with my flip cam while lamenting over the texts I was receiving from Kevin and Jake about how cool and relaxed this junket-like press room was. I thought it was going to be busy and that people would be mean, but apparently everyone was joking and carrying on and that it was surprisingly quiet.
If you haven't seen it yet, see now what I missed out on, all because of my poor organization skills.

I still had fun at the Fringe Panel at Comic Con. Met up some lovely Virginian friends. Saw DavidJR.com play with Anna Torv from Fringe and then got Anna and John Noble to chant: Aussie! Aussie! Aussie! Oi! Oi! Oi! with me.

Rushed outside. Ignored another Virginian person. Found David. Got in car. Went to airport.

Slick.

Plane: long and boring.

Spent far too much time staring at the back of seat.

Lady from India got sick, she didn't look well before she boarded.
She threw up like a champ.
Didn't even make me feel sick.
The attendants were ever so considerate. We were flying American.

SFO is...SFO. San Jose is only cool because it's mentioned once or twice in the Youth in Revolt.

Stayed at Marriot. Marriott. No bathrobes. This simple luxury makes me sad. No minibar. Sadder.

UGX Conference breakfast was embarrassing. Face on two boards and it was funny. So tired. Couldn't speak until I had coffee.

Got on Local NBC news. Thought the lady didn't like me, but found out the next day that I was the only person - out those she interviewed, that she used. Funny. Very funny. If anyone can find it for me, I'll probably kiss you on your forehead one day.

Not really. But I'll pretend. In my sleep. Naked. WHOA!

Good conferences, saw Craig from Craigslist... all I remembers is this:

"Lead, follow
or get out of
the way!"


Left in the afternoon to go the Radio Ink Convergence Panel.

Met Mr. Kawasaki - lovely man.

Got really nervous before the panel. Started worrying that maybe I was developing that sympton that happens when people get nervous. Which would be ironic. Because now when I do want to do things that make me nervous, my body might not let me. We'll see how that develops...

"INTRIGUE, DANGER AND ROMANCE!" - that song is playing at the moment.


The panel went well. Mics didn't work. I tweeted the video, so check out my twitter. But it was funny and nearly everyone, and now me seeing this is weird, so you know I'm not being a dick, was talking about it afterwards.

So we went out for American Food. I had a hamburger with fries, peanutbutter, banana, chocolate milkshake and a banana split. Twas beautiful.

Next day, woke up late, met Mr. Kawasaki again, got a photo and a promise of a book - they had run out. Saw his panel.

And then took part in my crazily-titled panel and that went well. Had long conversations with advertisers and youtubers alike after it was over. Got nervous before that too. Interesting.

Got on a flight straight afterward and went to LA.

Took ages to check in to The Standard. I was quite surprised when my card actually was able to pay for the first night of my room. It took me into the negative, but at least I had actually saved like I planned to...and it will be reversed. Yay, I'm learning.

Today.

I got up late, it's so cold in the room. Did some work, ran late to go to The Waffle House, but at least I looked decent. Stared at the Nickelodeon studios across the road rather wistfully. If I had grown up here, I would have been all over that place... not in the shows, just trying to get in them hahahaah. I wanted to be Amanda Bynes when I was 13. Hahaha. God. I was 13. How weird.

Really enjoyed the Standard's Diner...

Gosh, this blog is so boring.

Anyway, The Internet Makes Me Mean. Almost everyone does not get along with everyone and the Internet makes it so much easier for comments to be misinterpreted, hurt more and the instancy of it all, allows or a lot of mistakes and hastily written hate messages/texts/blogs/tumbles ; )

Luckily, I come to my senses. But I no longer want to be mean. I no longer want to look at to feel the intense burning of anger that knowing so many people on the Internet creates. It's awful. I just want to be nice, earnest and friendly.

So here we go. Hi. I like you shiny metal hat.

Love, The Nice Pony and The Meat Lasagne with Sweet Potato Fries and a Diet Coke.

Sunday, 8 February 2009

WikiBand

I found this from Tom, who is Luke's (my roommate) friend... Tom and I don't know each other, but thank you Tom.

1. Go to the Wikipedia home page and click random article. That is your band's name.
2. Click random article again; that is your album name.
3. Click random article 15 more times; those are the tracks on your album.
4. Post a review of the resultant album.

Band Name: Hydrophis melanocephalus

Album Name: Kuru, Nigeria

Tracks:
1. Creepshow III
2. International Academy of Digital Arts and Sciences
3. North Dumpling Light
4. The Drouth
5. Arthur Olszyk
6. Alcocer de Planes
7. Richard Durst
8. The First Law
9. Bullers Green
10. Grande-Rivière
11. Western Coal Fields
12. K'lee
13. Surinder Amarnath
14. Sir Jamsetjee Jeejebhoy, 1st Baronet
15. George Anson (1797–1857)

"Collected Thoughts" Number One:

Hydrophis melanocephalus is a type of a Sea Snake. I enjoy not being able to pronounce my bands name properly. Can you imagine the concert?

"We are HAI-DROE-FIS MELL-AN-OCE-...ANO-SEH-PHALUS! WOO!"

Ah, melanocephalus...snake...phalus...phallus...snake...phallus...penis.

"Collected Thoughts" Number Two:

Keru, Nigeria... I guess our Album is tackling the issues? Trying to do a Bono? Full of trouble?
Cool! I bet we're hardcore!

"Collected Thoughts" Number Three:

Wow, the album starts off with a bang! I love tracks 1 to 4. It sounds like a fairly typical mainstream album though. 4 good songs, and then it sort of fades into a mix of pop-rock/alternative (think Vampire Weekend), kimya dawson-folk (Richard Durst was a good man, la la la), and simple sounding (think, Stone Temple Pilots) rock songs to try to bring up the pace.

I love that it starts off with a "Horror" movie, then something to do with the Internet, then a Lighthouse in New York, then we go to Scotland and then start talking about people...all revolving around England and India.

Cool game... I just like that that I learned all this stuff in a matter of minutes. A good game to play maybe once a month to get some random knowledge!

Why don't you play the game and either link me to your own blog or whatever in the comments or just play it in the comments!

The Guitar String and The Lost Pick.

Totals