Monday, 31 October 2005

Cheesesticks Baby!

The following blog has been reposted to my current blog to rid myself of multiple profiles and to also preserve the Idiot that was my 17 year old self.


On Friday I went to the Taste of Chaos concert, you see Alex was originally going, but she had to work that night and wanted to sell her ticket. So I took up her offer, Nick gave me some music to catch up and then - walah! The night of chaos! As soon as I got out the door I was hit in the head with a newspaper, kindly thrown by the ever-annoying Andy...and it really hurt, because it got me square on the nose and I just instantly started crying, it was so bad. The first I said was, "I dont even feel like going now!" And I didnt because I hate emotions swinging that fast, feeling happy and excited about going to a concert and then crying because your nose was brutally attacked by a friggin' newspaper! I mean, c'mon! It's just so random.

But I went and reluctantly sat next to Andy until Tenielle neatly placed herself on his lap. And I admit I was kind of scared, I really was worried that something bad would happen to me! That I'd get trampled on, or get hurt in the mosh pit or something weird. But it was actually pretty good, and hardly chaotic at all...hmm, maybe I should sue? I wanted a taste of it! A TASTE!!! I guess I did get a weeny taste or maybe just a whiff or chaos. Because, I was right on the end of the mosh pit, literally, on the end, at the front (the second sections front) and we kept getting pushed into the fence, which by the way, ruined the face of Scott and Alex's present (the NBEFOREC bag) it's a bit scratched, even after all I did to try to prevent it from rubbing on to the pole. I have decided that Story of the Year is my favourite band, EDIT 10/05/10: If you asked me to name a song or sing one of their tunes, I wouldn't be able to do it. Definitely not my favourite, but they were great performers. but then later on the night, I realized: HOLD ON!!! Hello, The Killers and Chemical Romance? So Story of the Year joins the top three. But I feel just a weeny bit less confused about life now that my taste of music is sorted and I finally have favourites bands instead of just bands that I like - you know?

There was this one annoying girl who made things quite squashy and annoying, during the Story of the Year, who were the BEST performers of the night, anyway, during StoY she had her hands in between Sarah and I, holding onto the bar...and then she pushed herself on the other side of me. And though she was nice, I was like: Hello! I was here first, you have no right to make me feel squashed unless I was in a place to feel squashed. And technically, to me, if your rightfully at the end of the mosh pit, you shouldnt have to feel squashed - because you are on the end. But I got over it and enjoyed it as much as I could.

I only really knew StoY though, The Used - I only knew the choruses...and the rest I was just like: "YEAH! ROCK ON!" I was suprised my voice didnt hurt more. And my ears didnt ring for as long afterwards. It was really good, but I was soooo exhausted afterwards that I decided to go home instead of to Nicks.

I had to go to AAA early the next morning. I missed my train too, the odd thing was, so did Bonnie, and I was like: woah, spooky! We were meant to meet. Because I'm playing the lead girl in the AAA Theatre Experience day...and I was so nervous and worried that I would suck.

Then after that lesson I had to go to work, and though I was extremely tired, I really did feel like I actually worked for the first time at Blockbuster. Because I served more, phoned people, and didnt just return dvds. It was cool. I liked it. But NO WAY would I want to make it a career. Coming in to Blockbuster every day? Uck? Even if you did one day become the manager, it would just suck. You'd be rich, but I'd be bored. We also met the amount we were meant to meet. We were even over - so that's wicked!

The next day, which is today, I got up as early as I could manage after another late night from work and wanting to eat, but not. And I got everything organised for TE2. Then I went to The Wiz rehearsals, which were hot, but good. We got alot done. And I can see a definite improvement in everything from how it all was last week. The Sundays will definitely do us good. Just as long as we can skip some days and be ready during Schoolies. I dont want to be partying and then have to be called in to some emergency"How's the wehersal going?" Heeheehee, got to love Tibalt.

We also finished early so I practised my dance for TE2 and got my hair and makeup ready. I was so nervous getting there, but the last few rehearsals we did before the show, really tied it all together. It was good. We were on last and they all said we were the best. Because our story was easily told and we all acted well - so thats cool. Lots of people congratulated me on my performance. And I nearly cried during my scene with Seb, because he got so upset, and therefore I got upset.

Bryn said I did good...I hope he was right, he did give me a hug though so thats cool. And the faint was alright too, I think.

I hated the car ride home, I do appreciate honesty, but I sometimes wish that I could just hear fake comments instead of real ones. Though it does help me. It definitely has now. So I guess it is a good thing that all I ever hear from the ones closest to me is honest. The thing is, all the criticism comes to the dancing, yet they keep wanting me to do it, to love it again..."be a teacher", do this, do that...yet the acting is fine, it never gets a bad comment. Yet I dont get told to pursue that area. Why is that??? Mum says that when I dance I shed a light on the audience, and its really painful to hear, cuz I might shine a light but I dont really want too! I would rather shine a light while acting. But if I have to shine a light somewhere, I'd rather shine it somewhere than no where. I don't know. They are all holding on because I've been dancing practically for 16 years. So maybe if I continue acting for 16 years, they'll want me to pursue that, and maybe I'll be something. So if I truly began in 2003...16 years will be up in 2018...and I will be 30! 30! Oh well, they do say that life begins at 30. If I take care of my body and face there is no reason why I could still be going for it. I just hope I dont lose sight of it. Or if I do, it is because I have found something I love even more than acting and dont regret leaving at all. So it would have to be pretty darn good.

Anyway, I have a lot of stuff on next week, a lot of assignments and stupid stuff. My mum loves me very much and told be not to care so much, she said that my career doesnt need that stuff, and when you get older the certificates and stuff dont matter anymore. It's not that I'm worried about my future, well, not too much...but I just like doing good. I wish I didnt hold such high expectations of myself...but no, I take that back. I'm glad I do. Because I wouldnt be who I am today if I didnt...and I certainly would have no chance of getting to where I want to go if I didnt expect the best from myself. It just hurts a little bit more and stings long after if you do suck.
Anyways, I just want to have fun and try really hard so I can get to where I want to go. And if i'm not meant to go down this path, then I'd like a sign, and nothing coincidental, but a sudden urge to do whatever I'm meant to do, and no regret of what I'm leaving behind. Problem is I love what i'm doing and aiming for too much, that i'm afraid if this is the wrong path, I wont notice the right one. But if I love it so much and it comes so naturally and can it be wrong? How? It feels so right. Wow, I'm talking about my chosen career path as if it was a relationship. Hmm, if thats the only relationship I'll ever end up having, lets hope to happiness, success and a lot of good times. If I get that, boys will never matter much anymore. It's starting to be less painful, not having a guy. I actually really like it. Here's to a long living relationship with Acting and a just as long living relationship of singalism! WOOHOO! INDEPENDENT WOMAN!

I love you Acting, mwah! lol...

Love The Perpendicular Square and The Happy-Go-Lucky Octopus!

Comments (1)

Picture of Someone on Windows Live
DrAmA_QuEEn697 - 4 Nov., 2005 - Delete
Caity! Hey babe, i've just been reading your blog and i think its super cool. this is kinda pointless because i could just tel you tomorrow at acting but no one else has wrote a comment so i thought i should. i wanted to say that i thought you were absolutely amazing at your first ever TED. i thought you danced well but your acting was even better. i'm so proud of you, gorgeous. i also wanted to say thank you... just thank you... you know i love you. i do. you're great. So yeah, keep going with hwatever you are doing because its great. oh and go to my space. its got photos from TEd so check em out. Love you, Emily xxxxxx.

Saturday, 22 October 2005

So Like, Blogs Are Cool Now...

The following blog has been reposted to my current blog to rid myself of multiple profiles and to also preserve the Idiot that was my 17 year old self.

According to a recent article in Vogue magazine, Blogs are supposedly cool now. Especially if you are a woman, and are funny and intellectual at the same time!

In America and England women are getting 6-figure book deals just because their blogs were extremely well constructed and they are also well known in high societies and are all in the who's-who places, you know?

I think that is pretty cool. I mean, you think that Blogs are stupid ultimately, because here you are writing to nobody but yourself, but also a million strangers at the same time, so all your personal thoughts on anything are being read and reviewed by people you will never, and sometimes, hopefully never meet. But then if you're talented and are witty and thoughtful, which I wish I was, your Blog will eventually become famous. Well, maybe.

If anyone ever types into Google msn+spaces+neverland88, my space is the only one listed. So if anyone was ever high one night and for some reason decided to search for something random, that is what they would find...this. This wonderful little Blog that went from nearly almost cheery thoughts to a lot of gloomy and angry thoughts. I guess that is what comes with aging and all that sucky hormonal crap, and the stress that can go with year 12. Not that I feel that stressed now, I'm pretty much on track, and everything that ever needed to be handed in on time has been, and a lot of stuff is ahead of schedule, so thats awesome. Just as long as I don't lose track and get completely stupid and sit twiddling my thumbs while time to assignments wafts slowly by. Yes, wafts! Isn't that the most splendiferous word? can bring so many good, yet quite a few more bad images to mind. Pie and farts are the most common thoughts swimming around my head right now.

Yes, OK, I guess that I've given it away through my lack of subtleness, that I would love to be a talented Blogger. But it's a talent I know I will never achieve, because I do tend to waffle on a lot! And unless someone had an extremely long amount of time to waste on their butts, nobody would ever read all of this. Anybody who is reading this here is a officially a Butt-Waster! Yes, not a Time-Waster...but a Butt-Waster, all its doing is gaining some fat, when it could be losing it with some walking around somewhere or even love making. I'm sure it works, I've read Cosmo. LoL.

Anyway whats been going on lately in Caitlin World? Well...the main news that has been annoying my brain, is my distinct lack of the feeling to care for anything on the News. Sure Bird Flu concerns me and all, and all the crap happening in Bali and America, and well, anywhere in general, is like: oh, that's sad. And I sincerely mean it. But when you have to write an article attacking the media for how it represented the topic, you kind of need to have a topic you are extremely passionate about so that you can see faults in how the media has represented it. But I'm not extremely passionate about anything on the news. Except for Diseases, so I started doing that, and then I realised that apart for the Media saying the words fear and panic maybe a few more times than needed, but other than that, they've been pretty good. Better than they were with that Meningococcal virus, you know, the one that all the schools (and I) got freaked about. Man, was that a really nervous time for me. I was such a Hypo-Chondriac! It sucked big time.

EDIT 10/05/10: I feel that now, after actually having read the news steadily for a few years, I would have done much better on this assignment and I regret my chosen subject to discuss. Blargh.

So anyway, I stopped that. And I was going to the Bali Bombing, but the news seemedto have represented that fine too. So I eventually decided to go with the ever popular Schapelle Corby, because in Wikipedia, they even mention how badly the media over did her representation, it was kind of crazy. So, yeah, I chose the easy route and it looks like it'll be pretty breezy.

I'll have to go soon and get ready for work. That is what else has been cool about this week, no work until now. It helped me get things done, not having to go to it. Though I am missing the money, I was so rich a few weeks ago, and now I'm more of a sponge bucket!

Man, I hope I was meant to start at 5pm. As far as I know I was. I'll feel really bad if I wasn't. It also wont look good. It said 5, so I wrote it down. Man, if it isnt I'll be buggered. They would've rung now if I was meant to be on.

What else is cool is that I'm going to the Taste of Chaos concert. I wasnt originally, I declined the offer to go, due to the fact that I believed I'd get mutilated. But I watched a Mosh Pit at that Coke Live N Local tour, and though Taste of Chaos will be much more hardcore, if I'm strong and healthy and aware of myself and whats happening, I'll be fine. I'll probably just go on the outskirts and dance anyway. Oooo, I better put away some money to get a t-shirt, because that'll be sweet! I'm going to collect a t-shirt from every concert I go too. So this time next week, I'll have 3. They get cooler every time!

I'm really enjoying rehearsals, but it is also starting to get bitchy and really frustrating as well. People getting in trouble, when they are not even in the scene. Getting told you cannot be heard when your singing your lungs off, and the way people are getting praised and criticized is really really not ethical. It's kind of painful, well it would be to me, if they were getting up me. They haven't done that yet, but I'm sure my time has come. I am putting in 100% or maybe just 80% into every rehearsal that I go to now. I want to be good in my part and do a good job for the musical. What I'm worried about is people coming, that know me, expecting me to be stupid and ab lib and you know try to make them laugh, because my lines aren't exactly funny, so I'm not a funny character. So that's a bit sad. But I am not going to ad lib! Not unless something funny and/or awkward happens. LoL.

I have to get Sarah a bday present and I should donate too.

Well this week has been an interesting one for me. No phone call. It's so sad, I tried so hard. And I've tried to be super good and I've also gotten super narky too. Due to the moon and the tides that be. I went to every school day and lesson, and only missed Care once! Once! I'm moving on up. I've also re-realised how much I dont want to end up in Suburbia as some old lady with 2 ugly and ratty kids. You know? I'm too ambitious, I cant let it happen to me. I'm on schedule and sent off everything that needs to be sent off, and nearly done eveything that needs to be done to make like smooth. I just wish something exciting would happen. I'm restless, I need some kind of spark in my life. But a good spark, nothing bad. However, if this Oakily Doakily mood keeps on up, I may have to change the background of my Blog.
If that happens, things have definitely changed and I've gone through a period of Blackness and am now re-stepping into the light. You know what, my music may be dark. But I feel good, and until I feel bad again this Blog is now going to be changed to something happy.


Love Caitlin.
The Alright Daisy and The Futuristic Girl!

Monday, 17 October 2005

Checkup...Grad...and ALL!

The following blog has been reposted to my current blog to rid myself of multiple profiles and to also preserve the Idiot that was my 17 year old self.

I'm still a Blockblisterer, I now enjoy rehearsals, I've lost my wallet a few times, my Mum recently became engaged - congratz Mumma, I've cried during a car crash demo video, I've missed a lot of skool and been late to skool, this girl Karla isn't being very nice to me, though I do intend to get over it, I'm still single, I recieved a care bear for my bday from Sarah today, I went to her party and had a good time, I wore hooves and poked Scoot in the eye...haha! I hope to be a better student for the rest of term, and listen to people and ask them questions because I realise now that I hardly know any of them, like really, truly, yeah.

I also have to don some ballet pointe shoes and audition for a ballet role in our AAA groups presentation, so that should be pretty nerveracking and exciting. I'm sure Bonnie will get the lead, and I dont mind because she created it, its perfectly fair. I just wanna have fun, thats all. It rained a lot today, which is good, except I think I might be getting a cold, which is not good. I have to send away some QUT stuff and get more stuff done to my formal dress. I also may have a chance of being involved in a short film at Williams Talent, which will be very exciting! I enjoy being single, mostly. The song of the moment is:

Into The Ocean (Calling You) Evermore

Comments (1)

Picture of Someone on Windows Live
Akuma_W - 17 Oct., 2005 - Delete
hi caitlin, well, when ever you want, i have kinda grown to u not talkin to me lol, over that year you werent there, it sadly enough grew on me, i love all you guys all my friends. your all so great an cool towards me and i thank u all for it, i want ot be able to tell my story, but its impossible, we would have to sit down as u said at night with dirnks cos it would take way to long, i would have to recall everything for u to understand anything, you know and realise that you were the start of me writing, and thanx, i am slowly gettin better lol, not yet good enough but some of my stuff is actualy quite nice, though im not sure what stuff lol :S im wierd, u know that much, love ya caitlin, ladaz

I fall into the ocean,
I fly into the sky
All my broken emotion is slowly drifting by
The further I go into myself
The more I find, then I find,
I need someone else
I am falling
I am calling you
I am falling
I am calling you, calling you, I am
Awake in my bedroom,
my head and my heart
You are above and within me,
and I know we'll never part

But I'm also pretty happy so...

Don't Stop Movin' by S Club 7 fits the bill! Woo!

I have piccies of the QDSE Grad ppl, that I saw on Friday @ their graduation - congratz guys!

They all rocked, and I was so very proud of them. They all screamed and jumped on me when I arrived which was nice...and they had two pics of me in their slideshow, which was so showed that I wasnt forgotten, and I always thought I would be. Take off guys, be stars! SHINE!!!

Anyways, I wanna do well in school so I better get to bed, ugh, sore throat! Peace out all!

Love from The Calculating Pinata (pin-ya-ta) and The Bubbling Wax Heart.