Monday, 31 October 2005

Cheesesticks Baby!

The following blog has been reposted to my current blog to rid myself of multiple profiles and to also preserve the Idiot that was my 17 year old self.


On Friday I went to the Taste of Chaos concert, you see Alex was originally going, but she had to work that night and wanted to sell her ticket. So I took up her offer, Nick gave me some music to catch up and then - walah! The night of chaos! As soon as I got out the door I was hit in the head with a newspaper, kindly thrown by the ever-annoying Andy...and it really hurt, because it got me square on the nose and I just instantly started crying, it was so bad. The first I said was, "I dont even feel like going now!" And I didnt because I hate emotions swinging that fast, feeling happy and excited about going to a concert and then crying because your nose was brutally attacked by a friggin' newspaper! I mean, c'mon! It's just so random.

But I went and reluctantly sat next to Andy until Tenielle neatly placed herself on his lap. And I admit I was kind of scared, I really was worried that something bad would happen to me! That I'd get trampled on, or get hurt in the mosh pit or something weird. But it was actually pretty good, and hardly chaotic at all...hmm, maybe I should sue? I wanted a taste of it! A TASTE!!! I guess I did get a weeny taste or maybe just a whiff or chaos. Because, I was right on the end of the mosh pit, literally, on the end, at the front (the second sections front) and we kept getting pushed into the fence, which by the way, ruined the face of Scott and Alex's present (the NBEFOREC bag) it's a bit scratched, even after all I did to try to prevent it from rubbing on to the pole. I have decided that Story of the Year is my favourite band, EDIT 10/05/10: If you asked me to name a song or sing one of their tunes, I wouldn't be able to do it. Definitely not my favourite, but they were great performers. but then later on the night, I realized: HOLD ON!!! Hello, The Killers and Chemical Romance? So Story of the Year joins the top three. But I feel just a weeny bit less confused about life now that my taste of music is sorted and I finally have favourites bands instead of just bands that I like - you know?

There was this one annoying girl who made things quite squashy and annoying, during the Story of the Year, who were the BEST performers of the night, anyway, during StoY she had her hands in between Sarah and I, holding onto the bar...and then she pushed herself on the other side of me. And though she was nice, I was like: Hello! I was here first, you have no right to make me feel squashed unless I was in a place to feel squashed. And technically, to me, if your rightfully at the end of the mosh pit, you shouldnt have to feel squashed - because you are on the end. But I got over it and enjoyed it as much as I could.

I only really knew StoY though, The Used - I only knew the choruses...and the rest I was just like: "YEAH! ROCK ON!" I was suprised my voice didnt hurt more. And my ears didnt ring for as long afterwards. It was really good, but I was soooo exhausted afterwards that I decided to go home instead of to Nicks.

I had to go to AAA early the next morning. I missed my train too, the odd thing was, so did Bonnie, and I was like: woah, spooky! We were meant to meet. Because I'm playing the lead girl in the AAA Theatre Experience day...and I was so nervous and worried that I would suck.

Then after that lesson I had to go to work, and though I was extremely tired, I really did feel like I actually worked for the first time at Blockbuster. Because I served more, phoned people, and didnt just return dvds. It was cool. I liked it. But NO WAY would I want to make it a career. Coming in to Blockbuster every day? Uck? Even if you did one day become the manager, it would just suck. You'd be rich, but I'd be bored. We also met the amount we were meant to meet. We were even over - so that's wicked!

The next day, which is today, I got up as early as I could manage after another late night from work and wanting to eat, but not. And I got everything organised for TE2. Then I went to The Wiz rehearsals, which were hot, but good. We got alot done. And I can see a definite improvement in everything from how it all was last week. The Sundays will definitely do us good. Just as long as we can skip some days and be ready during Schoolies. I dont want to be partying and then have to be called in to some emergency"How's the wehersal going?" Heeheehee, got to love Tibalt.

We also finished early so I practised my dance for TE2 and got my hair and makeup ready. I was so nervous getting there, but the last few rehearsals we did before the show, really tied it all together. It was good. We were on last and they all said we were the best. Because our story was easily told and we all acted well - so thats cool. Lots of people congratulated me on my performance. And I nearly cried during my scene with Seb, because he got so upset, and therefore I got upset.

Bryn said I did good...I hope he was right, he did give me a hug though so thats cool. And the faint was alright too, I think.

I hated the car ride home, I do appreciate honesty, but I sometimes wish that I could just hear fake comments instead of real ones. Though it does help me. It definitely has now. So I guess it is a good thing that all I ever hear from the ones closest to me is honest. The thing is, all the criticism comes to the dancing, yet they keep wanting me to do it, to love it again..."be a teacher", do this, do that...yet the acting is fine, it never gets a bad comment. Yet I dont get told to pursue that area. Why is that??? Mum says that when I dance I shed a light on the audience, and its really painful to hear, cuz I might shine a light but I dont really want too! I would rather shine a light while acting. But if I have to shine a light somewhere, I'd rather shine it somewhere than no where. I don't know. They are all holding on because I've been dancing practically for 16 years. So maybe if I continue acting for 16 years, they'll want me to pursue that, and maybe I'll be something. So if I truly began in 2003...16 years will be up in 2018...and I will be 30! 30! Oh well, they do say that life begins at 30. If I take care of my body and face there is no reason why I could still be going for it. I just hope I dont lose sight of it. Or if I do, it is because I have found something I love even more than acting and dont regret leaving at all. So it would have to be pretty darn good.

Anyway, I have a lot of stuff on next week, a lot of assignments and stupid stuff. My mum loves me very much and told be not to care so much, she said that my career doesnt need that stuff, and when you get older the certificates and stuff dont matter anymore. It's not that I'm worried about my future, well, not too much...but I just like doing good. I wish I didnt hold such high expectations of myself...but no, I take that back. I'm glad I do. Because I wouldnt be who I am today if I didnt...and I certainly would have no chance of getting to where I want to go if I didnt expect the best from myself. It just hurts a little bit more and stings long after if you do suck.
Anyways, I just want to have fun and try really hard so I can get to where I want to go. And if i'm not meant to go down this path, then I'd like a sign, and nothing coincidental, but a sudden urge to do whatever I'm meant to do, and no regret of what I'm leaving behind. Problem is I love what i'm doing and aiming for too much, that i'm afraid if this is the wrong path, I wont notice the right one. But if I love it so much and it comes so naturally and can it be wrong? How? It feels so right. Wow, I'm talking about my chosen career path as if it was a relationship. Hmm, if thats the only relationship I'll ever end up having, lets hope to happiness, success and a lot of good times. If I get that, boys will never matter much anymore. It's starting to be less painful, not having a guy. I actually really like it. Here's to a long living relationship with Acting and a just as long living relationship of singalism! WOOHOO! INDEPENDENT WOMAN!

I love you Acting, mwah! lol...

Love The Perpendicular Square and The Happy-Go-Lucky Octopus!

Comments (1)

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DrAmA_QuEEn697 - 4 Nov., 2005 - Delete
Caity! Hey babe, i've just been reading your blog and i think its super cool. this is kinda pointless because i could just tel you tomorrow at acting but no one else has wrote a comment so i thought i should. i wanted to say that i thought you were absolutely amazing at your first ever TED. i thought you danced well but your acting was even better. i'm so proud of you, gorgeous. i also wanted to say thank you... just thank you... you know i love you. i do. you're great. So yeah, keep going with hwatever you are doing because its great. oh and go to my space. its got photos from TEd so check em out. Love you, Emily xxxxxx.

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