Monday, 9 August 2010

BEDA - Day Eight - Waffle Week

August 24th is National Waffle Day, and since I'm clearly so excited about it all the way back here on August 8th, I thought I'd list some places that Yelp (you know, that bitchy site where none and all of the information is helpful) recommends you to check out during Waffle Week, because one day of Waffles is simply not enough.

Since I'm slack at everything, I know I'll probably run out of time to eat a Waffle on Waffle Day and I won't realize it's Waffle Week until Waffle Day.

It's also Luke Week that week. Luke Week involves hanging out with my best friend in New York, @lukees, and doing whatever he wants to do before he leaves for his homeland, Canadadia. So, I probably won't eat Waffles on Waffle Day. Chances are, we'll go to s'Nice for lunch and I'll have a Curry Cauliflower Wrap, which-shit-I just remembered is still sitting in my bag! In the future, that is.

After lunch, I'll probably be so stressed from the disaster that is my work that I'll duck over to City Bakery and grab a shot of hot chocolate and a chocolate cookie with white chocolate chips.

Oh, and this is after I get confronted by a "Fortune Teller" who tells me I am very lucky and makes me sit on the sidewalk with him while he guesses a few things correctly with some paper tricks and gives me a special little rock which I "must not show to anyone!" All for thirty-five cents, which is about all I'll have on me at the time. He'll ask me to go visit his car... or his store (I won't be able to understand his accent) for some possibly dangerous reason and he'll tell me I "think too much" when I decline. Then he'll immediately approach another "lucky" lady once he's done with me. Still, cool trick, though.

So, without further Blah's of the Blah Blah, here are my desired establishments to eat a Waffle at... one day... probably not during Waffle Week, because just remembering it's Waffle Week will be hard enough for me.

Penelope - for the Pumpkin Waffle with Apple Butter

This place almost seems worthwhile because it's website isn't completely shitty. It's always nice when the flash works or when the website is actually there. That's a big plus for me.

For breakfast they serve a Strawberry and Toasted Coconut Waffle with a side of papaya (a fruit I can never put a familiar taste too, except maybe disappointment) - they call this waffle, The One Night Stand Waffle, so you know it's probably going to leave you feeling a) hollow and cold or b) vivacious and powerful, rrrr, you sex kitten, you. Read: I hate your self-confidence, lucky bitch. (Jokes... sort of.)

I can't find the Pumpkin Waffle that sounded so delicious on their menu, but still, seems worth a visit.

Wafels & Dinges - for their Wafels and... Dingoes.

Now, I can definitely see myself visiting this place during Waffle Week. I'd visit it today, but it's not in my part of town (or Waffle Week... is this joke getting old yet?), however, when it is, it's open late, so there is no excuses. Putting it in my iCal now.

It's all about the Dinges, man. Toppings, that is. Ice cream, sauces, spreads, fruit. OMFG, I want to be there right now.

Petite Abeille - FOR THE STATUE OF TIN TIN AT THE DOOR AND THE TIN TIN COMICS YOU CAN READ... and some waffle or whatever.

With so many convenient locations (for me), I can't possibly say no to this "diet breaker"

It's well acclaimed and-ohmygod, I dislike so many of the people on Yelp so much. Do you see what I'm saving you from right now? "I would rate this down to three stars for having the AC running low on such a hot day..." HOLY SHIT. SHUT THE FUCK UP, SWEATY MAN. These are the people who are single-handedly killing the earth. They buy waffles and they kill baby seals.

Moving on, this is the place to go for breakfast (their eggs are meant to be magnificent) and for the Liege Waffle. Do you know what that is? I don't, but I want one.

Their website is pretty confusing, seeming to only advertise beer, mussel and lobster nights, so use the Yelp site (I'm sorry) to warm you up to giving it a visit.

Amy Ruth's - for fried chicken on a waffle... just like everyone else.

This place is famous. I didn't need Yelp to tell me that. Most of my NYC Tourist Books have Amy Ruth's stamped on the map. I've been planning on going there since my first few months here (since the restaurant starts with an A, it's one of the first places I've always felt guilty about never visiting for a long time) but just never made it that far up without it being an accident or without a tour bus. The East Village can be so distracting. I sound like a real prick right now, hey?

You'll want to get there early before the crowds, though there will probably be crowds anyway. Make a day of it, work your way down through Central Park, and through the museums.

My favourites?

The American Natural History Museum - but only go if a) you've never been there before and like the idea of taking pictures in front of 100-plus-year-dead animals or b) if you actually have the time to go to an exhibit or actually read the information they provide in their many halls. Too many times have I gone with friends who have never been before, and if you're not going to learn or see anything new, there's really no point.

The New York Historical Society - it's right next to the ANHM and the paintings here are really brilliant. I went to see the exhibit "New York Painting Begins: Eighteenth-Century Portraits" which are really a bunch of creepy, pretty, and sometimes badly painted portraits of well-to-do family members holding flowers or books or other objects to symbolize their status, business or interests. I enjoyed it because it made me realize that I could easily have been one of these Eighteenth-Century painters when I think of my reproduction of a portrait that I started late last year.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art - go to the Temple of When Harry Met Sally and recreate one of the sweet scenes when Harry asks Sally to dinner. If that doesn't justify a trip to a museum, then take lots of photos (the lighting is fabulous) and wander all the way to back (or wherever it is) to the Public Storage Rooms and the other super duper creepy replications of rooms from churches or mansions or other New York estates. When it's just you and a security guard at about 7pm at night, this place gets eerie.

But what are we talking about Musuems or Waffles? I wonder if there is a Waffle Museum somewhere? *Googles* No. But there is a Waffle House Museum, the first location of a Waffle House, well thank the sweet Lord for that preservation. Ahem.

Other Places To Eat Waffles or Waffle-Like Things And Feel Bad About Yourself Afterwards:

Melba's - chicken, waffles, strawberry butter
The Stanton Social - chicken and waffles or is it chicken IN waffles? Somebody actually listed EVERYTHING they ate there, including their bottled water, and remarked "the food came out fast, maybe too fast but we would complain if it did not come out fast enough" STAB. STAB. STAB.
Steak Truck - Waffle Fries and men in suits.
Wogies - Waffle Fries with Beer and Philly fans... *shudder* (again, jokes... sort of.) or 99 Miles To Philly - if you really like Philly fans.

So the evening has come, and I'm hungry. I wonder what I'm going to have for dinner... Waffles, you say? Nah, I feel like pancakes.



MntlWard said...

I didn't even know there was such a thing as a National Waffle Day.

Well, I'm not going to run out to Waffle House at this hour, but I'll have to drop by before the end of the week.

taktin said...

This is just such an extremely hilarious post, could've been a video... A+ Would Read Again