Last Xmas, I Gave You My Heart

The following blog has been reposted to my current blog to rid myself of multiple profiles and to also preserve the Idiot that was my 17 year old self.

This was my Christmas...Mum, James, Darryl, Grandma, Grandpa, Uncle Clayton and Auntie Nikki were all there to share it with me...twas a good day!

Odd though, instead of spending the last few hours of Christmas Eve reading Chrissy books and trying to be all full of christmas spirit like I have done every year, I spent nearly 2 hours talking to good old Harry about all kinds of things...I wonder what I'll be doing next Christmas Eve?

EDIT 10/07/10: I don't even really remember Christmas Eve 2006, but it was during your YouTube days, so you were probably on the computer. Loser.

Getting arrested? Smoking Marijuana in Nepal sounds interesting...I think I'll do that.

Everybody has gone to bed, and I feel quite lonely.

Love Always and Forever... (Latro)

The Lonely Mistletoe and The Twinkling Star

I can't say I'm not grateful though, because I am. I am so blessed, thankyou Lord for a wonderful year! I love you muchly!"

Merry Chrismukkah!

The following blog has been reposted to my current blog to rid myself of multiple profiles and to also preserve the Idiot that was my 17 year old self.

Merry Chrismukkah!

Oooo, we're being girly now!

This is gonna be a really good christmas, suprisingly enuf.

I'm really happy, and have never seen the tree so full of prezzies and never seen sooo much food!

Harray!

Love you all muchly!

Latro...The Happy Little Elf and The Slippery Shark Slide.

Comments (1)

maryam Alaradi - 10 Feb., 2007 - Delete

HARRY POTTER ROCKS!!!!!!!.....sorry just had to say that..Anyways, I was just surfing youtube, and i saw one of your vids..then went to the fansite..then here..funny how that happens..or not..

Going Backwards

The following blog has been reposted to my current blog to rid myself of multiple profiles and to also preserve the Idiot that was my 17 year old self.

Living with my Grandmother has turned me into quite a cruel and heartless person, once again. Sigh. I mean dammit, I spent all last year changing that and turning myself into an innocent, good person again, who had to be nice every second to people..well, not theatre people. I don't know why but Theatre brings out an evil side of me. Impatient, bossy and rude, and I don't mean to be, but I become some kind of drama queen on some kind of pill that makes them go psycho. My behaviour during the show of The Wiz had to be controlled and tied down so much, because I could of snapped everyones heads of for being in my way or touching my stuff, so I had to bite my tongue so many times, but when I did speak I felt like such a fake. Meh, I can't help who I was, but I can help who I am.

I just have got to be a nicer person, I don't know why I don't repect my friends as much as I should, they are so good to me...man, I have done this all before, typed this all before and who really cares? Hmm? Not you, I'm sure.

I got an OP of 13, so thats cool. All my smart friends will be like, you are dumb and suck, but I'm all like, hey dudes, I don't even need it - SO SCREW YOU!!!

I have a cold, bah, I say, I say bah.

I went shopping and got lots and lots of presents for my family, I didn't bother buying friends prezzies because I dont have much money AND I don't expect anything from them. So yeah. That's sorted.

Besides who gives prezzies to friends at Christmas? I mean, thats so lame. You give them a card and a candy cane and thats that. And if you are anything like me, you dont even go that far, or you have really good intentions and start writing christmas cards, but then you never finish or post them. Every other year than this one I have wrote everybody a christmas card on really pretty cards and all, but have never given them out. If I kept them all, you'd all probably have like 5 years worth of cards...woo! Spiffy.

This year I was with Sarah and we wrote out like 3 cards, but we were also watching a movie (Down With Love) so we didnt get very far, but at least we tried...anyway my space has been invaded so I will depart now!

Latro

The Wivering Violet and The Octagonal Christmas Ornament!

Santa Is Coming To Town...

The following blog has been reposted to my current blog to rid myself of multiple profiles and to also preserve the Idiot that was my 17 year old self.

Finally I feel like Christmas is here,

finally I feel full of holiday cheer,

I can smell the food and the love in the air,

I can feel Christmas,

it is everywhere!

When I started the first sentence I did not intend for it to turn into a cheesy Hallmark like poem, it's not really up to Hallmark standards but let's just pretend, okay?

But maybe I guess that's what is going on, sentences aren't just sentences anymore, they are poems and songs and full of love...because that is how I do feel, full of the need to give.

Why? Well it may seem odd, well, not really odd, more wrong. Not correct. Walking around stores and thinking about presents and buying presents shouldn't be what gets you in the mood for Christmas, it really shouldnt be.

It should be the fact that Christmas is here, that Santa Claus is coming to town, that the tree is up, the lights are sparkling and we are all nearly on holidays and can relax and enjoy ourselves.

For some people that is what makes them happy at Christmas, and that was once all I needed as well...but now, it's the idea of presents; buying and recieving (but mainly buying, which means I still have my heart in the right place) gifts - it's just so exhilerating. You feel so good about yourself.

I have bought a gift for someone else. That was nice. I am nice.

And therefore, for once, you don't see yourself as a bad and selfish person and it feels so good, that you can't help but smile and be happy and welcome Christmas with open arms.

For some people buying gifts is what they hate the most about Christmas, they find it stressful and tiresome...but you have just got to be relaxed about it. All that matters is your closest family...Mother, Father, Brother, Sister and children...the cousins and grandma's and pa's don't really have to be stressed over that much. I never have.

One thing I miss about our Christmas's at my house is that nobody really puts in the effort for the Christmas Day lunch like they use to, when I was little. These days it is just a roast and some salad and bread, and always pudding. That, to some people is enough, and yes, I agree, it is! Too much sometimes...but the feast of Christmas just looks so spectacular and lasts for days afterwards that I don't know why we don't go to the trouble of it anymore.

I remember as a child sitting at that huge table and looking around the chicken, and the cold ham and the warm meat and the salads of different types and the breads, sometimes that is more exciting than the presents.

Maybe it is because I value my stomach a little bit more than my possessions, and that is why I so desire the Christmas feast.

It is not just that, it is the fact that these days the roast is on Christmas Eve, and all you have for the Christmas Day lunch is the left overs...that makes it relaxed, yes, but also boring!!! Where is the excitement!? The presentation of the turkey and all the lovely things that you make.

I know it is hard for parents and the adults to cook these things on such a hot summer day, but, GOSH, it is so worth it.

I have been thinking a lot lately on what I will do for my children when I finally have them, which hopefully will not be within 5 years...or maybe even 10...but man, I am not going to spoil them at all! I've been too spoilt as a child, but I am most grateful for it, BUT, I will make holidays, and not just Christmas but all holidays Easter and all that, BIG. I will out do myself every holiday.

EDIT 10/07/10: I had a habit as a child, and, I guess, as teenager, of planning perfect scenarios. This weird obsession is one of the reasons why I took to the Sims so well... Thankfully, that part of me is much more relaxed now and I no longer waste days away on Sims. I can't afford to.

The Christmas tree will be decorated by everyone and everyone must be in the same room while it is happening. The Christmas Eve will be nice and quiet but exciting, full of drives to see lights and games and music and stories, the Day will be grand! The lunch will be huge, the presents will be good, and useful but also just fun (when they are younger) and will just be so exciting so that you can get excited when Christmas comes around.

Not like this year, which was just like, oh my gosh, is it Christmas next week? Damn, I haven't even got any presents yet! Boy, that went quick.

It should be countdowned and celebrated and rejoiced!

Today the little baby Jesus was born harray, who would eventually save us all harray! EDIT 10/07/10: Oh, Caitlin, what a strange phase you were in. Thank goodness you don't really give a shit anymore. My past three Christmases have been thrifty and mainly about people. Eric, Johnny, Mum and Darryl...

Anyway, thats my rant done...gosh, I hope one day not to soon, I live up to my plans.

For the meanwhile, though I am sure I will check in again...

Merry Christmas!

I hope it is a happy time for you all. Even if you don't believe.

Latro & Love Always The Peppermint Slug and The Rejoicing Bunny Rabbit!

Comments (2)

111_Court_111 - 19 Dec., 2005 - Delete

hehehe... I agree with ALL MERRY CHRISTMAS caitlin...btw WHAT IS YOUR OP!!?!?!?!

Emily - 21 Dec., 2005 - Delete

hey caity babe, Em checking in.. again.. How are you? I'm fan-freaking-tastic. got a job, amazing boyfriend and get this: i got into Extension! Yay! What have you been up to? We have to meet up. still. Oh we are so slack.. Love your guts, Em xx.

Workity Work Work

The following blog has been reposted to my current blog to rid myself of multiple profiles and to also preserve the Idiot that was my 17 year old self.

Work Work Work

That is all I do - oo - oo

Must Work Work Work

There is a lot to do - o - oo

...

Those were the opening lyrics for my Cinderella musical I wrote when I was in like, grade 10.

I thought it was gold then...

It is actually pretty funny, I'd love to see it performed by a special few at Phoenix, most of the characters are based on my friends...

It's also like, my version of Cinderella, so it's cooler and more dramatic - woo...

But the main reason why I wrote those titles is that I am working quite a lot, and that seems to be the perfect thing to go with it.

Now I know I dont have it as bad as some of you, waking early or working past midnight, I don't have any of that shite, and my hours and days are flexible and easy breezy beautiful Cover Girl...so I really have nothing to complain about. But I am lazy and don't really feel like work, but I love my work...good old Blockbuster, it's the best casual job around...so I'll stop complaining.

Maybe it's not that I'm complaining, it's just that I have never worked so much in my life, and it takes a little getting used to...man, I sound like such a spoilt little brat.

I probably am one, but I am nice to all the other spoilt little brats and nice to non-brats, so it's balanced.

I had an interesting day with Tamika, Emily and Dee...lots of driving around, sitting around and talking and swimming around...I'm especially intrigued by a certain topic which I shall label cleverly as Y.R...oooh, who am I talking about...any clever person could figure it out. EDIT 10/07/10: Y.R.? Who am I talking about? Oh. Harry Callister. Yeah, I was crushin' at that time.

Anyway, the fact is, is that I am intrigued and want to end all this waiting once and for all and find out...is anything there...

See ya later fellow night owls

Latro

The Sparky Window-Washer and The Disenfectant Umbrella

I have been...

The following blog has been reposted to my current blog to rid myself of multiple profiles and to also preserve the Idiot that was my 17 year old self.

I have been...

performing in The Wiz...

working @ Blockbuster...

to a Blockbuster party...

missing somebody...

buying music, like James Blunt... EDIT 10/07/10: Crazy. Last time I heard that song he became famous for, I was in Staples looking for scissors, and I just muttered to myself the whole time, "I hate this song. This song is stupid. Why is it so stupid?"

getting into You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown...as Linus...

watching lots and lots of movies...

staying up til 2.30/3am every night...

playing with my tamigotchi, Iliah...2nd generation...

on the computer, a lot...

getting up late every day...

trying to get money to pay all the people I owe money too...

buying dresses, which is why I am not paying the people...

putting of decorating the christmas tree...

too lazy to get credit to reply to ppls texts...

adoring Robin Williams...

making my room messy...

missing my Mummy...

living a really unusual non-school life...

getting ready for an audition...

fearing for my future but also looking forward to it too...

planning to get a singing teacher... EDIT 10/07/10: Five years later and I'm still planning on getting a singing teacher. Wow.

feeling sad about Harry Potter, and loving the movie...

not taking care of myself very well...

walking around for half the day in what i slept in...

having good skin and then crap skin...

attacked by weird winged bugs...

writing plays and monologues...

hating the sunlight...

loving the moonlight...

What have you been doing?

Latro... The Junky Monkey and The Funky Dunky...omgosh, do you remember that dance - so funny!

Comments (1)

Emily - 8 Dec., 2005 - Delete

Caity! Hey lovely, i texted you a few days ago.. no reply, sob. i like your blog entrys- i can know whats going on in your life! Hope all is well,. Love you girl, Em x.x.

It's All Over...Hopefully Something Will Begin

The following blog has been reposted to my current blog to rid myself of multiple profiles and to also preserve the Idiot that was my 17 year old self.

Well, it's all over.

The formal was really really good. More fun than Schoolies. Everyone said they liked my dress, so that was cool. But I look really unattractive and fat in some of the photos which is disappointing, because I don't feel unattractive and fat... wah ...

I was pretty stressed getting ready, but tell me one girl who wasnt, well there was probably a lot, but not many.

The photo session at Vanessa's house was wicked, and my lovely Harry got me this beautiful corsage and looked really suave! I can't wait to get the pro copies of the photos...better ring Vanessa soon. EDIT 10/07/10: I never got those photos... Sigh.

We went to the formal in this really tacky party bus, but it was really fun and we really got noticed when we arrived which was cool.

The dinner was good, and I won the female Oscar award, the good old Brailey won the male one, we rock! Remember don't use the prize til we win Gold! GOLD!!! But the best part of the night wasnt the socialising or anything, but all the dancing we did. We all just went ker-azy, it was so fun. But the DJ didn't play Busta Move so that really sucked.

The after party was quite interesting too, a certain English man who probably had a bit too much to drink and found my face pretty in dark - but we all know what I really look like - made my night quite amusing. I have seriously not been that amused by a guy trying to get a girls attention in ages, but because it was interesting, I found him mildly cool...that's right Ashton - I do in fact think you rock! And I couldnt not escape his charm at the end, sigh, but it was rather hot...but anyway - that is the most I have revealed on this space! So no more talky, talky for Caitlin about that.

At the end of the night, which was early early morning, we were all kicked out and Harry darling made us walk for ages so we'd be closer for a taxi, but his brother picked us up anyway, and then we all slept with Harry at his house. Which was rather hot and awkward when I woke up, which was around 10.

The Grad was alright, I didnt get sad, just happy and crazy. All I cared about was the food. I wasn't there at that school long enough to get attached, and wasnt social enough to get too attached to the people either, which was sad.

Schoolies was piss poor. The first night was good, but too crowded. The rest of the week was okay. It had some good moments, seeing Corpse Bride, shopping with the Theatre people and then going and seeing Brothers Grimm with SarahBear, having my deep and meaningful convo with Grant, and floaty pool surfing with Alex, Tenielle and Sarah. I ran out of money, so I was really determined to come back on Friday, cuz I wasnt having any fun. I spent the whole time complaining to Harry on the phone practically. Wasted so much credit.

That night at my house by myself, I heard banging noises around the house and upstairs and I freaked out, I put on shoes and stuff and grabbed my mobile in case I had to run and call 000 at the same time, and then I walked through the house poking 2 knives into every single nook and cranny, it was so crap!

Anyway, got to the 2nd round of the QUT Acting course so that's cool. But that is also all. I didnt really wanna go there anyway, though it wouldve been cool.

This week was basically just preparing for The Wiz. We had our first show tonight, but it felt more like a full Dress and Tech rehearsal so thats what I'm going to call it...but it had an audience. I didnt feel that swell about my performance, or the shows...but anyway I better go cuz there is a storm coming over and might cut the computer off! Tata! aRGH!!!

love you

latro

The Allergic-To-Straw-Scarecrow and The scary Lightning Flash!

Little_Miss_Silv - 2 Dec., 2005 - Delete

WOW wow WOW wow *slaps self* WOW Ok.. so i've finally seen all your formal photos.. or at least some.. DID YOU SEE MINE???? I have a few points to make.. first off.. WOW you looked hot and OMG we both wore pink :D :D :D And your mom looks totally hot too.. she looks.. something.. (if me saying your mom looked hot freaks you out.. sorry, but it's totally true.. tell her i said 'hi'... not in a suss way.. just straight out crazy HI!!) Who's the dude you were with? orange suit is something i never would have thought of.. oh.. and who's the girl in the green dress? that dress is hot.. tell her i said that dress HOT! *thinks* i think that's all i had to say on that subject.. did you cry at graduation? i didn't.. i made a big ass cheer hugged my friends told them i'd see them at pizza hut.. and left with my bubby's (that's Jai) hand in mine.. happy to be alive. teh end of school XD XD then.. there was schoolies.. one whole week of.. hanging with my bub? nah.. it was cool with my other friends too.. i got plastered twice.. after the second time, Jai made me promise never to drink AGAIN.. *sighs* never mind.. did you do anything? And now.. it's back to normal life.. bidding my time until i learn my fate.. some fateful day in late december *sigh* here's to the dream of university *makes toast* GO PSYCH AND CRIMINOLOGY!!! *must go change preference.. now* Well lots of love kiddo.. stay rad.. Silv

EDIT 10/07/10:

The lady commenting above was one of my dearest friends during Years 4 to 7, but we were probably at our closest in Year 7 and part of Year 8. We don't speak much anymore, but we did just find each other on Facebook, which was really exciting. I got so excited by her messages that I got all overwhelmed and couldn't reply back and haven't since... I better get on that.

I adore Silvia. She's gorgeous, funny and very smart. When we were younger we said that we'd live in Brisbane together in a flat, and I'd study Ballet at QUT and Silvia would study Interior Design. I loved that dream. It changed, but it was such a joyous plan, that I still hold it close to my heart - even though it didn't happen, and it's no longer what I want, I don't regret having it. It was sweet.

Thus Ends The Awards Night & The Last Lesson!!!

The following blog has been reposted to my current blog to rid myself of multiple profiles and to also preserve the Idiot that was my 17 year old self.

Well Awards Night went okay, but I was so nervous about my dance I nearly gave myself a heart attack, again! LoL...I should stop joking about it else it'll actually happen and then let's see if I'm laughing... EDIT 10/07/10: I guess I was still having minor anxiety attacks.

I won't be laughing if I'm DEAD!!!

Anyways, the performance went really well, my turns did well, and lots of people cheered - thanks guys - so yeah, it was pretty good. I kind of went crazy after that night and said the School Captains name, Bep, over and over again, because it was fun to say...Bep-pa, Bep-pa, Bep-pa...yeah, I probably annoyed the entire nation, but at least my mouth had fun. Right? And thats all that counts.

So yeah, lots of photos of that. Emily had one of her dreaded headaches again, so we weren't able to have as much fun as we did on the way down to rehearsals - ah yes, the crazy "I'm-On-A-Bus Dance". I shall never forget it. I wish I could go in her head and kill her headaches so she could be one big bag of fun all the time, because when she gets her headaches it's like: Grr! Which is understandable, thus the reason why I want to kill her headaches and bury them...or at least have some kind of panadol on tap...yes, tap. In my ass. EDIT 10/07/10: Err, okay??

Was quite sad though on the way home, did really well for once and nobody who matters to me (family) was there to see it, but I still love them. And I know they love me, I was just a bit soppy...and so, so, so tired.

The next day was hard to wake up too, because I was tired and a bit sore...so yeah. I eventually arrived @ School, and got everything cleared so I can pass nicely and then...we had graduation rehearsals and it was really sad, and the rest of the day was quite sad actually...and then I went shopping for Boobies! and a bag...cute clutch! And I'm hopefully all set and OH MY GAWSH the formal is tomorrow, need beauty sleep my Grandma says...bah, what is beauty anyway but giant sacks of straw hoping to be sat on by hillbillies??? Huh? Huh!

That's right, walk away...

So much is happening!!! Film, ppl asking me out, schoolies, buying stuff, formal, grad...ARGH!!!!

Latro!!!

Love Always The Dingy Bat and The Formally Dressed Pixie!

Swollenballbagboi - 25 Nov., 2005 - Delete

hello caity my love. ive missed you....well ill see you soon darling Ashton

EDIT 10/07/10: This comment from Ashton is funny because we kissed at the formal - I don't even know why. I guess he just wanted to kiss someone. It was quite rude of me, I should have been with Harry.

The Rehearsals

The following blog has been reposted to my current blog to rid myself of multiple profiles and to also preserve the Idiot that was my 17 year old self.

I'm obsessed with digital cameras...if I actually owned one, I'd have a lot more pics. But alas, I don't...I only have my grandmas which she lets me borrow...but it is not enough. Plus it doesnt help that it is a crap camera.

Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas is so wickedly cool EDIT 10/07/10: That's funny, I'm editing this and I just saw Fear & Loathing last weekend and the Sunshine with Michael Johnson. ...I watched it 2 weeks ago and I thought that it was time to mention it...see it! Or else.

Anyways, so today we had Awards Night rehearsals and I took pics and filmed stuff...but the memory isnt big, so i only got 20 items for the day! Bah! Bah I say!

Anyways, we werent going to do the Fame dance and then we were forced to do the Fame dance...it sucked, but now it rocks! woohoo! I am looking forward to tonight, I wish my Mummy was coming to see it. But she is down the coast and has to work.

It is hopefully going to be a pretty fun night, and I hope I don't stuff up too bad.

Anywayz...adieu...oh, and I'm getting an award as well! Academic Excellence - lol, as if! See ya!

Latro...

Love The Excited Felafel and The Mutilated Wrist-Watch!

Comments (1)

Naffyboi87 - 14 Nov., 2005 - Delete

hey thanks for the cokment just got back from my formal ater party how are ya? thank you so much xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

OH MY GAWD, R WE BEING AUDITED?

The following blog has been reposted to my current blog to rid myself of multiple profiles and to also preserve the Idiot that was my 17 year old self.

This is incredible!!!

1
Week
Left
of
School

I can't believe I actually made it to year 12...here's hoping the futures as bright as it could possibly be!

Things coming up:
1. Awards Night Rehearsals
2. Awards Night - getting an academic award and performing
3. Grad rehearsals
4. Formal!!! ARGH!!!
5. Graduation!
6. Partying
7. SCHOOLIES!!! WOW!!!

And then I have The Wiz shows, it's such a whirlwind!

Anywayz, I hope to take lotza pictures and post them up here of my wonderful lovely friends!
Latro!Love from the Catty Gorge and The Oh-My-Gosh-I-Can't-Believe-School's-Over Monster!

Checkup By Photos...Digital Photos...woo...

The following blog has been reposted to my current blog to rid myself of multiple profiles and to also preserve the Idiot that was my 17 year old self.

Wow! I finished my last piece of assessment on Monday - Modern History - now everythings over. All I have to do is go to awards night, formal and graduation and I'm done. Grade/Year 12 of my schooling life is over, and real life can finally begin! Can you believe it??? It's just super-duper crazy!

We have to create a dance to Fame for a Pac-Man themed awards night, which is just really out of place...kind of...and it was a bit dramatic at first, nobody wanted to do it, and it really hurt my feelings, but then we added some moves on today, and people seem happier so hopefully it will be good!

We are making paper mache masks for Drama Studies...lol, random.

And Harry and I are getting really snarky at each other, which is really annoying.

I got my hair cut yesterday, it looks to me like a lion's mane, which reminds me of Jai, who plays the Lion in The Wiz's line: "it's my mane, I had it touched up this morning." Now, if you havent heard Jai say that line, that you wont understand the comedy value of it all, the way he says it is classic, he goes all high on mane...lol.

Anywayz...I still haven't recieved my letter from QUT, which makes me nervous, 800 people are auditioning and only 15 people are accepted - how scary is that? So many people want acting to be there life, it's so scary. Gone are the days when everyone was afraid of the stage, apart from those fair few. It's so annoying, lol.

@ Blockblister tonight the power went out, so we had to serve customers with paper and then shut the store. I was meant to close at 11, I got home by 8:45! Harray, it was great. But the air con went off too, so while shelving I felt really light headed, and felt like I was going to faint every time I looked up. I suppose it didnt help that I didnt get my subway, but instead had a belly full of M&Ms, mmm, that's quality food for a growing girl.

Frog's bday party was last Saturday, and I drank 3 cups of punch, and the punch was full of alcohol, lots of alcohol, so after the first sip of it, I couldn't move my mouth properly, it freaked me out. And I think I nearly past out, because at one stage everything started to slide, like the lights started to become blurry and grow long, but I jumped up and shook it off. So I wasn't wasted, I was very uninhibited, yet, in control. Well, barely.

Everyone thought it was really weird, which annoyed me, because when they get drunk I dont go and make them feel like a weirdo, and I wasn't even drunk, just tipsy.

So yeah, that's basically it...I'm leaving some things out but I dont want to talk for too long...

Here are some photos, lots of photos!

Firstly heres my dear Ayeshah and I dressed up for Emma's Pirate party - we are pirate whores, beware the ugliness!

The others are from my visit to Grad...

The others are from b4 frogs bday party...i try to capture every part of my delightful costume!

Enjoy!

Latro...

Love The Itchy Eye and The Exhausted DVD!

Cheesesticks Baby!

The following blog has been reposted to my current blog to rid myself of multiple profiles and to also preserve the Idiot that was my 17 year old self.

CHEESESTICKS!

CHEESESTICKS!

CHEESESTICKS!

THAT'S RIGHT - CHEESESTICKS!

On Friday I went to the Taste of Chaos concert, you see Alex was originally going, but she had to work that night and wanted to sell her ticket. So I took up her offer, Nick gave me some music to catch up and then - walah! The night of chaos! As soon as I got out the door I was hit in the head with a newspaper, kindly thrown by the ever-annoying Andy...and it really hurt, because it got me square on the nose and I just instantly started crying, it was so bad. The first I said was, "I dont even feel like going now!" And I didnt because I hate emotions swinging that fast, feeling happy and excited about going to a concert and then crying because your nose was brutally attacked by a friggin' newspaper! I mean, c'mon! It's just so random.

But I went and reluctantly sat next to Andy until Tenielle neatly placed herself on his lap. And I admit I was kind of scared, I really was worried that something bad would happen to me! That I'd get trampled on, or get hurt in the mosh pit or something weird. But it was actually pretty good, and hardly chaotic at all...hmm, maybe I should sue? I wanted a taste of it! A TASTE!!! I guess I did get a weeny taste or maybe just a whiff or chaos. Because, I was right on the end of the mosh pit, literally, on the end, at the front (the second sections front) and we kept getting pushed into the fence, which by the way, ruined the face of Scott and Alex's present (the NBEFOREC bag) it's a bit scratched, even after all I did to try to prevent it from rubbing on to the pole. I have decided that Story of the Year is my favourite band, EDIT 10/05/10: If you asked me to name a song or sing one of their tunes, I wouldn't be able to do it. Definitely not my favourite, but they were great performers. but then later on the night, I realized: HOLD ON!!! Hello, The Killers and Chemical Romance? So Story of the Year joins the top three. But I feel just a weeny bit less confused about life now that my taste of music is sorted and I finally have favourites bands instead of just bands that I like - you know?

There was this one annoying girl who made things quite squashy and annoying, during the Story of the Year, who were the BEST performers of the night, anyway, during StoY she had her hands in between Sarah and I, holding onto the bar...and then she pushed herself on the other side of me. And though she was nice, I was like: Hello! I was here first, you have no right to make me feel squashed unless I was in a place to feel squashed. And technically, to me, if your rightfully at the end of the mosh pit, you shouldnt have to feel squashed - because you are on the end. But I got over it and enjoyed it as much as I could.

I only really knew StoY though, The Used - I only knew the choruses...and the rest I was just like: "YEAH! ROCK ON!" I was suprised my voice didnt hurt more. And my ears didnt ring for as long afterwards. It was really good, but I was soooo exhausted afterwards that I decided to go home instead of to Nicks.

I had to go to AAA early the next morning. I missed my train too, the odd thing was, so did Bonnie, and I was like: woah, spooky! We were meant to meet. Because I'm playing the lead girl in the AAA Theatre Experience day...and I was so nervous and worried that I would suck.

Then after that lesson I had to go to work, and though I was extremely tired, I really did feel like I actually worked for the first time at Blockbuster. Because I served more, phoned people, and didnt just return dvds. It was cool. I liked it. But NO WAY would I want to make it a career. Coming in to Blockbuster every day? Uck? Even if you did one day become the manager, it would just suck. You'd be rich, but I'd be bored. We also met the amount we were meant to meet. We were even over - so that's wicked!

The next day, which is today, I got up as early as I could manage after another late night from work and wanting to eat, but not. And I got everything organised for TE2. Then I went to The Wiz rehearsals, which were hot, but good. We got alot done. And I can see a definite improvement in everything from how it all was last week. The Sundays will definitely do us good. Just as long as we can skip some days and be ready during Schoolies. I dont want to be partying and then have to be called in to some emergency rehearsal...lol..."How's the wehersal going?" Heeheehee, got to love Tibalt.

We also finished early so I practised my dance for TE2 and got my hair and makeup ready. I was so nervous getting there, but the last few rehearsals we did before the show, really tied it all together. It was good. We were on last and they all said we were the best. Because our story was easily told and we all acted well - so thats cool. Lots of people congratulated me on my performance. And I nearly cried during my scene with Seb, because he got so upset, and therefore I got upset.

Bryn said I did good...I hope he was right, he did give me a hug though so thats cool. And the faint was alright too, I think.

I hated the car ride home, I do appreciate honesty, but I sometimes wish that I could just hear fake comments instead of real ones. Though it does help me. It definitely has now. So I guess it is a good thing that all I ever hear from the ones closest to me is honest. The thing is, all the criticism comes to the dancing, yet they keep wanting me to do it, to love it again..."be a teacher", do this, do that...yet the acting is fine, it never gets a bad comment. Yet I dont get told to pursue that area. Why is that??? Mum says that when I dance I shed a light on the audience, and its really painful to hear, cuz I might shine a light but I dont really want too! I would rather shine a light while acting. But if I have to shine a light somewhere, I'd rather shine it somewhere than no where. I don't know. They are all holding on because I've been dancing practically for 16 years. So maybe if I continue acting for 16 years, they'll want me to pursue that, and maybe I'll be something. So if I truly began in 2003...16 years will be up in 2018...and I will be 30! 30! Oh well, they do say that life begins at 30. If I take care of my body and face there is no reason why I could still be going for it. I just hope I dont lose sight of it. Or if I do, it is because I have found something I love even more than acting and dont regret leaving at all. So it would have to be pretty darn good.

Anyway, I have a lot of stuff on next week, a lot of assignments and stupid stuff. My mum loves me very much and told be not to care so much, she said that my career doesnt need that stuff, and when you get older the certificates and stuff dont matter anymore. It's not that I'm worried about my future, well, not too much...but I just like doing good. I wish I didnt hold such high expectations of myself...but no, I take that back. I'm glad I do. Because I wouldnt be who I am today if I didnt...and I certainly would have no chance of getting to where I want to go if I didnt expect the best from myself. It just hurts a little bit more and stings long after if you do suck.

Anyways, I just want to have fun and try really hard so I can get to where I want to go. And if i'm not meant to go down this path, then I'd like a sign, and nothing coincidental, but a sudden urge to do whatever I'm meant to do, and no regret of what I'm leaving behind. Problem is I love what i'm doing and aiming for too much, that i'm afraid if this is the wrong path, I wont notice the right one. But if I love it so much and it comes so naturally and wonderfully...how can it be wrong? How? It feels so right. Wow, I'm talking about my chosen career path as if it was a relationship. Hmm, if thats the only relationship I'll ever end up having, lets hope to happiness, success and a lot of good times. If I get that, boys will never matter much anymore. It's starting to be less painful, not having a guy. I actually really like it. Here's to a long living relationship with Acting and a just as long living relationship of singalism! WOOHOO! INDEPENDENT WOMAN!

I love you Acting, mwah! lol...

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Comments (1)

DrAmA_QuEEn697 - 4 Nov., 2005 - Delete

Caity! Hey babe, i've just been reading your blog and i think its super cool. this is kinda pointless because i could just tel you tomorrow at acting but no one else has wrote a comment so i thought i should. i wanted to say that i thought you were absolutely amazing at your first ever TED. i thought you danced well but your acting was even better. i'm so proud of you, gorgeous. i also wanted to say thank you... just thank you... you know i love you. i do. you're great. So yeah, keep going with hwatever you are doing because its great. oh and go to my space. its got photos from TEd so check em out. Love you, Emily xxxxxx.