MADNESS TAKES IT TOLL.
BUT LISTEN CLOSELY.
NOT FOR VERY MUCH LONGER.
IVE GOT TO KEEP CONTROL.
I REMEMBER DOING THE TIME WARP.
DRINKING, THOSE MOMENTS WHEN.
THE BLACKNESS WOULD HIT ME.
AND THE VOID WOULD BE CALLING:
LETS DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN! WOO!
Wednesday the 9th of March:
Wednesday was quite a bore. I remember feeling very tired. In Theatre Restaurant class I entertained some people by performing some Grease numbers. People laughed. I love making people laugh. I love entertaining them. Its the most awesome feeling. I will never become addicted to drugs *touch wood* because I already have something Im addicted too. Entertaining. Applause. Laughter. How can some people not want that. All I want is to make people happy. To bring a smile to their face and even a tear to their eye. Itd be awesome being so brilliant on stage you could affect someones mood like that, especially an entire audience. Its incredible.
I was late to x-stacy rehearsals that night. They went okay. I have to practise dry-retching though.
Here is a photo for this day: It is a portait of my Grandmother that my Grandfather painted. my Grandmothers favourite colour is emerald if you cant tell EDIT 09/19/10: Apart from her face and arms, the whole picture is basically emerald.
Thursday the 10th of March:
I was really tired on Thursday too. We watched the end of The Dead Poet Society, with the wonderful Robin Williams, who is my ultimate idol. I love him and his talent. Id love to be the female version of him, but I could never be that funny...and hopefully not that hairy...but yeah anyway, we watched the end, and I balled my eyes out. Firstly that the guy [SPOILER] commits suicide and secondly how everyone stands on their desks for Robin, and that was so lovely and beautiful that I cried again. I find that sad movies and romantic movies really get to me now. They really pull a heart string and I just ball my eyes out. I had to go to the girls toilets to calm down and wash my red, puffy face. I dont know why it affects me so much. Because seriously I wanted to wail and let my body shake in sadness....you know when your body shakes when you cry? It was like I was grieving...I just let myself get too deep into the story line. I could never be a critic. I also found myself thinking about how the only time I regret my decision for going back to Windaroo is when the boys are mean to me and when Nathan throws his food at me, for no reason, its just because Im there. Ive asked him to stop since and he hasnt thrown any more...I hope he doesnt do it again. Its really degrading...I wonder if it's a power thing?
Back to the present...Howdy Doody.
xoxo Caitlin.
I left you with another picture of my room...sorry. Its the same picture! To make up for it Ill send another one.
Its a picture I took of Harry [Potter] from my 2nd movie poster...which reminds me that I must, must, must get the 3rd poster.
xo.
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