The following blog has been reposted to my current blog to rid myself of multiple profiles and to also preserve the Idiot that was my 16 year old self.
Secondly, I want to say a big cheery 'Hi!' - just, you know, friendly...shite...why am I such a frigging idiot? Oh look at that, not even a hundred words in and I'm talking about myself...Well Done, Caitlin...Well Done! But no, but yeah, "Hi Hygs Joker!" Now this dude, is so frigging awesome...and oh my gosh, you have no idea how much I just wanted to say f***ing instead of frigging, thats how awesome this guy is that he needs a good hearty f*** before awesome, oh yeah! Now I hardly know this dude, but man is his blog one of the most awesome, funniest, intellectual things that you will read on the internet...not like this blog, which contains me rambling on about crap all, I mean he rambles as well, but his stuff has meaning, substance, I've never ever met a dude who...
1: Does drugs... EDIT 10/04/10: Oh yeah, Caitlin. He sounds really awesome. Yup. Good judgement there.
2: Skates or at least likes it, I've seen his pictures...
3: Has crap going on his life...
4: Is extremely funny and sarcastic...
5: And also really intelligent...
6: And dont forget the fact this guy isnt ugh looking, oh no...
Now, Hygs, don't worry...I'm not cracking on to you...oh geez, I'm not THAT desperate that I'd start trying to crack on to some internet dude...so yeah, don't freak out, I'm just rating you and telling everyone else how cool you are...hope you don't mind.
Oh and before I forget...
7: If you make him mad, he'll break your arm! Kidding, he didn't mean it...but...that's kind of cool.
Anyway so, basically what I am trying to say is that this guy is one cooll dude, and you should all pay his blog a visit and come out a little wiser and a little lighter! Or some kind of intellectually witty remark, that should be inserted right here but wont be because I'm not the one with the wit...alright? I come with sarcasm and randomness - fully loaded!
So, this week sucked...and I mean, seriously... the weird thing is, is that I dont really know why, I guess I just found everything within it to be completely dissatisfying. You know, like the best part of the week was, not going to school on Monday (but even then I felt like I was missing out on something), not going to school on Friday to finish that darn maths assignment, that I only figured out how to do on Wednesday...and I mean, what is with that...why did my brain do that me? Why does it have to wait til the friggin last second...do you get some kind of strange kick out of it, Brain? Huh? Do ya? Yeah well eat this: *skolls back some vodka*. Now obviously I have no Vodka, because anyone knows me will know that I cant skoll for shite! And I cant swallow tablets either! FRIGGIN THROAT & FEAR OF CHOKING!!! And also, me drink? "That's unpossible" ...LOL...not really, more like, Me? Afford drink? That's unpossible. *Please note that I am not so stupid that I dont know how to spell impossible, I do...and quite well too...((Like what the fudge!? How the hell can I spell impossible well-er than anyone else? Honestly, I should be on drugs...or something, I do certainly act stupid...man, why am I beating myself up today? Is it some ,kkind of hidden self loathing? Am I suicidal and abusive deep down inside? Like, c'mon...psychological side of the brain - get the f*** together! Wow...I must be cranky...and I wonder why, I had a good day, I got soooo much stuff...AND...drum roll, please...A NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS BAG!!! Oh geez, it is so incredibly awesome...that it is now my official school bag! Oh how I love it so...I only need like the other 25 bags and I'll be set...oh, why oh why do I have such a strong love for The Jack Skellington?
...
And anyway...yeah, did you like...it's like I left my random rant right up in the air, and there it will stay til I call it down...and can you believe that right now my Media Player is playing 'These Days' by Bardot...do you remeber Bardot? The first manufactured reality TV show production? Oh yeah, they're playing...and I feel incredibly 2000.
EDIT 10/04/10: This blog is embarrassing and it only gets worse. Are you ready? Because here comes the teenager using swear words for the first time! Wooo. Exciting!
So yeah, then on Friday, I went to Frogs where I enjoyed emotional abuse from almost everyone there in a 'jokey' and 'non-jokey' way...c'mon guys, just because I cant shuffle cards...get a frigging life and some...FINE I'LL SAY IT...FUCKING PATIENCE! FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!!!!!!!! I dont deserve to be called fucking stupid all the fucking time. Sometimes when playing a game I can get a little confused and yes damn right air-headed....but I'm smarter than that! I'm better than that! I hate feeling like a fucking idiot by all of you! You make me feel like fucking shit! Oh fuck, now you've made me swear....
*Sigh* I dont know if i feel better yet...apart from making me feel released of anger, all I feel now is fucking repressed in the head...man I could so do some booze right now... EDIT 10/05/10: I'm so embarrassed. just chug it all back and forget who the fuck I am...
Can you believe it? I'm now reading back what I said with my hands covering my mouth, like in horror...man, I wonder if anyone will read this far...oh they should, then they'll see a side of airy-head Caitlin that they've never fucking seen before....oooh, that feels good...people ask me, at school, if I'm on drugs, just because I'm happy all the time...happy? Yeah, I am happy...and I love life, friends, family and the Lord and all that comes with it, but sometimes...when you're sitting all alone in dark with only your grandparents up stairs and all your friends out and a whole lot of built up anger you can kind of explode...they are just lucky that I get it all out before I see them...oooh, then they'd be in trouble. Why are you happy all the time? I'll tell you why! BAM! Right in the balls!
...No, a kick to the balls wouldnt solve anything...
EDIT 10/05/10: A ready for a sudden mood wing? Bam.
You know what else I realised today? I love my Gran! Not just because she has bought me wonderful stuff, but she loves me! She cares about me, I mean all my family do, but i never have seemed to of shown Gran the same kind of affection as I have for most of the other members of my family...and she deserves it, she really does, I mean...half ot the things I own are from her...and sometimes I feel like all I get out of seeing her is more stuff...how fudging selfish am I?
I am such a bad person.
Such a selfish being.
So totally revolved around myself.
Me. Me. Me...why can't I for once just...care, just...be a good, and I mean a purely good person...with no other evil intent lying under the good deed, no dark thoughts underneath a thought of a friend...no swearing, no hating, no yelling, no...not...me.
I found myself today. I found who I am, and I bought the clothes to match it...but what I didnt buy was the darker side of me...and those clothes would be black, brown, red, and some kind of disgusting green colour...hm, kind of makes me laugh when I read this back...this isn't the deep me? Is it...I sound like a joke, a whiny little bitch. No wonder people find me bloody annoying - listen to me rabbit on about...me and oh, I am such a bad person...
Caitlin, if it upsets you, fix it or get the fuck over it!
Final words: I love my Gran and my Mum and my Dad very much. My Bro too.
Sometimes you just have to accept what and who you are and why you do the things you do...when you accept them, try to understand them, and ask for forgiveness...God knows we are weak and will continually make mistakes, but he loves us still. Fear him. I know I do...I'm sorry...
Love from the Big Black Jet Plane And The Apple-Sized Armpit.
Latro...
Comments (1)
HYGS_Joker - 30 July, 2005 - Delete
gmme ur frigen msn,, this talking over blogs is gettin to piss me off
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