Wednesday, 12 March 2008
The Life And Death Of A Pimple
You may be a little grossed out by this title or you may be secretly elated that I have finally chosen to talk about your secret fetish.
I’m not going to tell you how to clear up your pimples, though for future reference Calamine Lotion and Toothpaste work really well. I am going to tell you the tale of the pimple near my lip, gross, I know, but I brave the tough subjects. Forget about these pansies documenting the riots in Kenya or anything else Blood Diamond related; I talk about the real issues.
Where is my Pulitzer!?!?!
Now, you may have noticed in my video announcing my adventure to SXSW, that I had this weird bump on the upper corner of my lip. It was the remnants of a nasty pimple that likes to grace its face to the world every now and then, and always at the wrong times.
Nothing but trouble, I can tell you; you can’t spend hours in front of a mirror hiding away from the public eye while on a plane…you have to face the music, the eyes that dart away from the Offender and the embarrassment you felt when you were 11 and received the first bump on a cheek. This brings me to my tale, my Gross tale.
When I was 11, I noticed that I had this bump on my lip. I poked at it a bit, but it didn’t go away and I just assumed it was some sort of weird lip thing or a freckle.
Imagine me, younger, walking around with a tiny little bump on my lip through years of my life. It became me. It achieved my middle name; it could have grown feelers or a brain during all the time it was on my face.
Sometime during my first years of high school, the little bump seemed irritated and I decided to investigate.
I poked and I prodded, I squeezed and pressed, and pinched, and suddenly…glory came out. Yes, we all know the satisfying yet squeamish sight of puss or whatever is going on underneath your skin. How extraordinary. I had been carrying around a pimple for years and did not even realize it. Even my Mum didn’t think anything unusual of it, since it was so tiny.
…and uh, yeah… That’s my story.
…It did sound more interesting in my head.
…Well, this is awkward.