I found these notes in my Drafts. They were originally notes I made after one of my writing class lessons, but it almost reads as some kind of idiotic stab at poetry of some kind. So since it really is too late to bother trying to write and eloquent blog about such a simple day, I neatened the notes up to fit the structure/look of a poem, just for the glory of Awful.
"I've got to read the fucking news
In my head, even the banality of that statement pissed me off
Swinging my Coke can
Turning on to second, passing the carousel pony and
You'll catch up eventually, says Eric
Cost of food"
Aww shit. Haha. I love ridiculousness.
I think I learned of some kind of tragedy, yes, that's right; the shooting at the Fort. I was completely unaware of it and felt very stupid for not knowing about it. At least I gave everyone in the class a small chuckle. Sigh.
I swung and jigged my Coke can on the way home, thinking about this "future" blog post, what I'll say, what can be done about it. I think I wanted to note the act of carrying a Coke can around since there is something so peculiar about doing so. To me, at least.
I was fairly poor at this time, so was starting to become aware of the brilliance that is "cheap" food. I was rather to surprised to find that food doesn't have to be a crazy expense... if you don't shop at Whole Foods, or, better still, you shop smartly at Whole Foods.
Shopping for food hardly feels smart though, because unless you have a family or take great joy in the act of cooking, you usually don't plan too far ahead and just gobble as you go... and you never have food left for years and years (except maybe a box of sugar) to show everyone what a good investment you made. All you have is yourself. Your body and your health.
Sometimes it hardly feels worth it.
Wow. I wrote that. What an idiot. I don't even know where that came from. It's definitely worth it... it's just that, well, I'll still sometimes shout a meal for a special someone or occasion, and sometimes I'll buy food which is probably too expensive but I've been trying to buy less. Lately, I've been very good with my consumption and purchasing of food... and I have the weight loss to prove it, I guess? Though those three Yoga classes and the training before it probably helped a great deal too.
I'm not trying to starve myself or anything painful like that, but it just seems so ridiculous sometimes to spend money on food when you've had no money for a really long time. It feels like grandeur sometimes. I've also been lucky. Kate's Dad bought a lot of the meals in Vegas. Dad bought a lot of the movies when I came back to New York to hang out with him, and colleagues have bought me plenty of sandwiches and salads along the way. I'm probably just eating as much as one should eat... maybe not as healthy as one should eat, but... I don't know, I ate so so so much when I first started traveling in America and getting involved in the Internet, it feels good to now save meals when they are too big and split them into days or just feel satisfied with a sandwich for lunch instead of a huge greasy bag of food.
I definitely don't think being thinner is more attractive than having a figure (it's not an aim of mine), I mean, darn, it'd be nice to have a more voluptuous figure so I could have more of a bust.
What I've realized is that when it comes down to weight, it's really just your natural beauty and how you wear it that determines what looks good and what doesn't. That's why so many skinny celebrities look terrifying and other celebrities like Scarlett Johansson (a perfect size 10 AU, or so my Mother told me once) and Queen Latifa or Christina Hendricks (I would LOVE to have her figure!) are so admired and always look good.
So yes, don't worry about me. I'm just stubborn and lazy... and I also use to study ballet. So before I started posting videos, I was a wee bit of a stick most of my life and I was use to it.
My love for cookbooks proves that when I do have the time, money... and lack of laziness, I will absolutely adore creating amazing meals and then eating them up!
I WAS GOING TO TWITTER THIS AND DECIDED I JUST BETTER PUT IT DOWN HERE: Christina Hendricks and Emily Blunt in a film together. Don't you think that would be amazing?