Do you remember back in the good ol' days when you didn't know anyone on the internet? And you weren't known by anyone on the internet? And you could tell people when they were being a fucking douche and not give a shit if anyone saw that you were using bad language or were almost cyber-bullying a 14 year old girl? *sigh* Yeah, those were the days. Back in the "day", if I received a comment like this:
From a comment like this:
And then when I tried to let people know that I didn't know it would be a big deal (I mean, ONE: if you watch the fucking film, you'll see how inevitable his death is else it wont move the plot along, I knew it, we all knew it... Watch the film and tell me that the death still doesn't shock you and that you don't already feel it coming by the way they pace the movie... I mean, the guy I was watching the movie with was already making "blowing-up" gestures with his hands WAY before the death... Is that another fucking spoiler? Deal with it, its called THE HURT LOCKER. Someone's gonna die. And shit, people told me that Dumbledore died in my most beloved book EVER and I still read the fucking book and was moved... If its done well, it doesn't fucking matter....anyway...) and then I said it wasn't like I tweeted the Mr. Big and Carrie got married at the end of Sex and the City, which would be way worse, WHICH for one, was a joke, because HOW is that oh-so-crucial bit of information important to your life and TWO, how did you not see them getting married, no matter where you are in the series, and THREE, grow the fuck up, I'm not giving you a spoiler its SEX AND THE FUCKING CITY... and I got this reply...
Which you know what, only makes me realize how many male Australians I just DID NOT get along with. I mean, not only is this guy a douche and fucking tightly wound, but he's an Australian male. Now a lot of Aussie males are actually relaxed and super down-to-earth and real and then there are the others... the one's I seem to come across the most... I bet he claims that he's totally relaxed and chilled and multicultural and also not a racist and yet, he's probably one of the first people to get fucking angry when people try to immigrate illegally into Australia or he's probably one of the first Australians to not like it when an American displays their ignorance towards our country, when most our fucking television is letting people with fucking "black-face" on television and creating ads where white people "tame" West-Indies people with fucking fried chicken, I mean come the fuck on....
Anyway... so I said,
to that guy, who, by the way, blogs about learning guitar, so be sure to follow that little slice of originality on the internet. I'm not saying that a 21 year old girl bitching at people on a blog is original... but I think the reason I'm so mad is that...
I HAVE TO BE NICE TO PEOPLE ALL THE FUCKING TIME.
Oh, thank you for sending me that long-ass message about your life that doesn't even make any sense... Oh, thank you for calling me a whore, I'm sorry you feel that way... Oh thank you for watching and touching your dick, I appreciate it... and yet, I still have to put up with people telling me they are unfollowing me with asterisks to demonstrate that they are doing it now and putting up with whimsy fucking Hello Kitty fanatics, like fan-fucking-Francesca telling me that I'm boring as fuck and not worth following, while SHE tweets about how she needs to "get back on track and study" and how her "goal for tomorrow is 30 mins of cardio," I mean how rude.
I would NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER tweet to someone, almost-out-of-the-blue, just because they "spoiled" a movie (grow a fucking pair and pay $12.50 for the fucking oscar-nominated film), that they were boring and not "worth" something. I'd be called a monster if I did that. People would be outraged by my inconsiderate behaviour...
Ok, I've typed enough now to be over it.
The point to this blog is to delight in the fact that, hey, we all make mistakes and I'm going to revel in the long-lost stages of my old internet anonymity and send fan-fucking-Francesca this harmless little message. One for the ages. Totally mature...
I'll feel like a better person already.
P.S: Also, if you're reading this and coming to a realization that maybe wittle-Caitlin isn't as nice and sweet and innocent as you (or your dick) thought she was, then you need to stop being a child and realize that Nice is different than Good. If you all saw Into The Woods you would already know that e.g. The Wolf is nice but he wants to fucking eat the little girl... Whereas I am a good person but wont tweet mean things to someone if its not deserved. I mean, come the fuck on... its not like I ruined the end of anything... like Avatar or Star Wars Episode 5... You have a full 2 hours to recover. You whiny bitches.
No, seriously, I'm fine. Hearts. Penguins!