Sunday, 20 January 2008

How I Travel the Internet

I haven't posted in a while because I'm a little bit jet lagged from all the Traveling I've been doing lately...

...the travel I've been doing lately across the Internets!!!


You did not see that witty pun coming, did you?

Is it even a pun?

I'm not sure.

Is it witty?

Definitely not.

When Traveling the Internet, there is much turbulence and the occasional seedy flashing banner that will steal your wallet, passport and your back door dignity, so you have to be careful.

You also can't get all caught up in the hype and leave your family for days while you log in to various grotto's, cyborz with exotic women (that are actually Brooklyn men) and engage in extreme sports (the latest battle quest of your preferred magical fantasy-I need to learn how to live my own life-online game).


It's all about staying healthy. You have to think of the health of your eyes, your over-loaded Coke-preserved Brain, and your basic social needs as a Human.

So, the trick to the Internet is to get it done fast. You can get a surprisingly large amount of wholesome good times, large chunks of information and general satisfaction just by spending at MAXIMUM, 3 hours online.


I shall divulge...

*why does this blog have such a smug tone to it? Because I was just able to get my Internet time to under 3 hours and am now satisfied enough to venture into the Sun...please let me live in my moment of glory without insult*

Travel Items that will make the Journey more enjoyable...

Drink: Starbucks Coffee frappuccino Coffee Drink, "a Low fat Creamy Blend of Starbucks Coffee and Milk" in dark chocolate Peppermint Mocha with natural & artificial flavours.

Snack: Nothing yet, I run on empty until I feel like I may black out (only because I'm extremely lazy) However, Fruit Loops or last nights Pizza are probably somehow good for you in a This Is Really Not Good For You kind of way.

Clothing: Pajamas.

Preferred Time: 7am to 10am on a Saturday Morning.

Music: Steely Dan's 'Rikki Don't Lose That Number' and all the songs off the first Gossip Girl episode...shut up.

Depart: I have to give credit where it's due, Boh3m3 introduced me to this site, he is one that has his Travel Schedule down, though he does it for too long and into the wee hours of the morning, which can't be healthy, but then again, it's Boh3m3...and he shoots himself in Black and he is obviously crazy.

POP Url's is a great site because it has a great collection of sites, from to the latest Twitter updates and shows the most popular photos, videos from YouTube and other sites and the latest blogs from some of the best bloggers out there as well as great new news articles from The Onion and the latest vlog from Rocketboom.

If you use that site, you can be sure that you know nearly all that is important in the world for that second.

"But how do I sort through it all?"

With a little thing, I like to call Firefox and the CTRL+CLICK+OPEN LINK IN NEW TAB option. Then it's like you have your own little news paper of Interest, you can conquer it all in order or keep up the tabs that you want to bookmark for later or show to a friend - no fuss, no missed flights, no delays. It's all there.


I would recommend the lovely little countries of Facebook, Tumblr, IMDB, Apple - Movie Trailers,, MySpace...

There is a hilarious site that always puts me in the most fantastic mood, it's the place I love to travel to most...

The next stop is usually the great Shopping Destinations.

I like, fruitybeauty, the Girl with her bloody Satchel , Daily Candy and the Pop Candy Blog.

Sometimes the Turbulence can mess about with your cute little macsuitcase

(did that made-up word nearly make you want to puke, I did...why is it orange?), so I like to check out the sites that deal with technology or just the Internet in general while I wait for it to be fixed. The very smart Andrew Baron, introduced me recently to Techmeme and TechCrunch is good. Andrew Baron's own blog, Dembot is full of handy information to give you an edge against your other travelers.

Go see some great shows during your Travel!

Watch EpicFu and other great classics on YouTube, try The Meth Minute, you'll get a chuckle...or they will get you drunk - good lads.

Don't forget to visit your friends while you travel around the world!

Check around to see who out of your friends is traveling and blogging about it...they'll most likely be on Blogger, it's getting really hot right now especially that Google and Blogger are having sex and making babies.

Then I like to return home to Australia and start my day.

What did I get out of my most recent trip?

I learned that gamers are killing each other, I played some games and enjoyed being a consumer...

Now, if you excuse me, I'm going to log off and see that scary monster that likes to eat giant Goddess heads.

Miss Caitlin.

Please note that by the time I finished writing this the Sweeney Todd Soundtrack was playing...

Sunday, 13 January 2008

Let Me Tell You A Story About A Little Town Called America

I have now realized that it was my computer stuffing up...oh deary me, Chortle Chortle.

*ALERT: Before I begin my blog: Is anyone else having trouble with the Twitter site??? What has happened to it??? People must know what I'm doing every 5 seconds or I will finally realize that I am well and truly ALONE! Don't let me reach the edge, man!!!*

No, but seriously. Twitter, what's up? You've got a Community to uphold - step up your game.

If anyone finds out why it went down or why it is down or why I am asking you questions, let me know...comment!


I would call 2007 the Year that was Going to America, mainly because I seemed to spend an extensive amount of time there.

I had been on YouTube for a few months and was keeping a steady job as a receptionist at the same time. One day I went and saw The Prestige and realized I was wasting my life and my time. Yes, yes, quite a weird movie to have a revelation with, but I walked out with a completely different mindset. I looked at my best friend Emma and said: I have to quit my job tomorrow.

I spent the rest of the year wasting time on the Internet, developing infatuations with almost everybody and then sometime in 2007, in January I saw Mr. Safety's video about the last YouTube meeting in Hollywood and how the next one would be at Pier 39. I immediately decided to go... I mainly went to meet one person, but my excuse to my Mother, Parents and all involved was that I needed to meet the people who were talking to me about helping my acting career. What career!?

It was surprisingly easy to convince my Relatives that I was worth there hard earned money and went over by myself to the L of the A and then over to San Francisco. I remember looking around at the Terminal, at all the miserable faces, and I couldn't believe how any of them could be so unhappy when they are lucky enough to fly in a airplane! Woo!
I now know their pain and misery personally.

Long Story Short:

I had a great time at San Francisco, thought it was beautiful.

Spent about 3 weeks in Los Angeles living off other peoples kindness, went to Alabama to follow an unhealthy infatuation and then, about a month later, returned to create Environmental Videos with people.

What a depressing experience. As lucky as I am to be offered such experiences, living in a room day after day with no friends for 3 months during the EVIL HORRIBLE DEATHLY San Francisco Summer, is not so much fun.

I got to go to England and meet Kate and Jonty and Roz, and Geriatric. I got to spend quality time with Brookers and get to know her as a real human being - or at least poke around at the very tip that is the Iceberg that is Brooke's Soul. She is epic - and I say this in the most loving way.

The best part about the 3 months of the isolation was the week full of people in a little city, I like to call, New York City.

It was Summer, it was humid, it was pure sex in a little steamy glass bottle and I adored every shiny second of it. I got to hang out with more YouTubers - even though 777 was and will always remain in my mind a Nightmare that I never want to revisit.

I learned that America is all about Confidence, but I seemed to forget the True American Values that One Special Person lives by.

Mr. Colbert.

I picked up I Am America (and so can you!) at one of those adventurous News Agents at a Terminal while waiting for a connecting flight, and I must tell you to buy this book - not the illegally produced Chinese versions* - because no other book has made me cry laughing from just reading the Introduction. It is nothing short of glorious.

* That is a key joke in the book, if you don't watch Colbert or you are not Intelligent and Perceptive of Sarcasm, then you will not understand until you gain said perception.

Not only is the book cleverly Interactive, the Narrative runs very smoothly in your mind and giggles brim to the surface at all times.

Apparently the man behind Stephen Colbert has been through some tough times and I'm sure he is constantly confronted by Proud Red Blooded Americans who can't take a step back, look at themselves, society and history and go: we made mistakes and we're golden for it...or you know, a murky mustard color... So, good on you Sir and the Writers who contributed - you are Upstanding Fellows!

You can purchase Stephen Colbert's I Am America (and so can you!) at $16. 95 or so from:



I am jealous and want to be in San Francisco for the first time in my life.

Just imagine the smell. The Odd Looking Nerds. The Hot Mac Girls. The Apples.

Mmm...crunchy, juicy Apple...

Oh, you know Apple took the Computers off it's Official name...that's because they are too busy making TVs and iPods and Robot Women that they can't limit themselves to the Apple Computer world.

Time's a-changing.


"But I Don't Want To Go Around Mad People"

...Alice remarked. `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'

That Cat was on to something; Mad people are awesome.

I love the way they stare.

I love the way they mumble.

I especially love it when they single you out from a crowd and try to strike up some kind of Trash-Can friendship and you awkwardly have to hop, skip and run away while still trying to remain a decent citizen.

Yes, Mad People do make things delightfully awkward, however, if they were more like the Mad Hatter and the Hare and the little Whiskery Dude, Life would be - as the Californians say: Hella Good.

One thing the Mad Hatter would nod his Mad Hat at would be Frankie Magazine's new Afternoon Tea Cookbook. I can't wait to get my grubby little cookie dough hands on this gorgeous little wonder. I would tell you more about it but unfortunately the Magazine got wet somehow in the Bath and is now lying on the Hotel Veranda drying out... Tear.

It's $19.95 and I LOVE Afternoon Tea so much so, that when I was younger - around 15 - I invited Harry, Nathan and my Primary School Best Friend (who I now no longer share any contact with) Silvia to a Tea Party.

There was no Tea. There was Strawberry Milk in beautiful Tea Kettles or whatever they are called...Beautiful Painted China Creations for Pouring Tea? And I think the Afternoon part, Afternoon meaning Food...shutup, it makes sense if you look at it vertically...consisted of lollies and probably party pies.

I was the Hostest with the Mostest.


I will never be the Hostest with the Mostest. However, I shall let you know when I have ripped open a Frankie Cookbook filled Envelope and you will receive an Invitation shortly...

Hmm...that gets me thinking... what do the people say about an Online Afternoon Tea Party? Now that would be weird...but it gives us an awesome reason to eat Tea Cakes and get crumbs in the keyboard...


Monday, 7 January 2008

Another Online Identity

I am sitting here at 1:25am eating Carrots with Dip.

I lead an extraordinary life.

Not only do I have dinner in the wee hours of the New Morning, but I eat Carrots with bloody dip. It is good, but as I eat my Stomach is saying:

Where the f@#$ is the Chicken, Bitch?

I am awake because I have not done much today. When I work hard I either work through the night or at least go to bed very early due to exhaustion. Today, Yesterday, Sunday, was the day for gearing up to Monday. So I was getting everything ready....and somewhere between searching for food and planning to wash Towels, I found my Mac and everything changed.

Computers have a habit for changing my life and altering my plans.

I started to blog using MSN's various blog sites and then found Buzznet. I was still at Blockbuster and 7/11 when I used those sites.

One day, I fell in love with Zach Braff after watching Garden State, as have many Young Adult's trying to make sense of the world, and I was devouring his website when I saw he had posted a video... I am fairly sure that it led me to the early version of what is now YouTube.

I then found Emma Watson "being naughty" and then I found Brookers and I thought she was retarded. I was like, who would ever post a video of themselves doing such a thing as singing to their web, my, I certainly had a lot to learn about myself.

Then I discovered LonelyGirl15 and wanted to be her best friend, I posted a video and all "she" said was: How did you become a Director so quickly? (Back then most people signed up with a Normal account and then waited for weeks to have it upgraded to Director - back when YT cared...but I was clever, I clicked on Director, made up a company and began)

Needless to say, I was a little hurt, and even though I thought she was Awesome, I decided to discover more of YouTube.

I found Rickyste and his Rap about how He is Better than Her, I thought it was cool and responded with my own cheesy rap.


Especially back in those days...

It was featured, gained hundreds of thousands of hits in days and then the media started calling.

Long story short, I now eat carrots with dip and have Best Internet Friends like Courtney who tell me to make Blogs. :P

I have a lot to tell and lot of secrets about what I'm doing now...and I'll reveal all in good time.

...This is going to be fun...