Sunday, 12 October 2008

Chapter Two: What Is This Nonsense?

It has recently, and by recently, I mean, now, come to my attention that I don't sign off my "blogs of wisdom and digital paper cuts" the way I use to.

Back in the glorious days of MSN 'My Space' and Buzznet, I use to sign off with delightfully unintelligible sentences like,

The Mischievous Kitty and The Uncircumcised Phallis...

or

The Tall Bottle of Fiji and The Unquenchable First...

or, when I was feeling particularly excitable,

The Crusty Skin In Between Your Toes and The Frog That Ne'er Did Sing...

So let's bring that back. None of this Love, Caitlin nonsense. I don't love you. I don't know who most of you are. Don't mistake my lack of love for lack of respect or admiration, those feelings I have greatly for each and everyone of you. Unless your name is Frederick, then get out!

(If you are named Fredrick, I'm sorry, let's do lunch!)

I don't want any of this Gossip Girl "ex-oh, ex-oh" shite, either.

"You have forgotten who you are and so have forgotten me. Look inside yourself, Simba. You are more than what you have become. You must take your place in the Circle of Life."

That's right, I'm Simba and I have a sexy Broderick voice and a gorgeously wicked Uncle Scar. *side-note: please take me with your finger*, Jeremy Irons!*

I am back. I have come full circle and I remember who I am...

ROAR! ROARRRR!! ROARRRRRRR!!!!!!

*That's a 40 Year Old Virgin reference by the way, not simply my own gutter-like mind.

The Loved-Out Of Loving You and The Unwatched Season Two of Gossip Girl,

Caitlin motherfucking Hill.

11 comments:

Brent said...

Funny how you mentioned your old blog sign-offs from yester-year; they were extremely funny, creative and painfully honest.

This is one of my favourite ones from your Buzznet account: Me First & The Gimme Gimmes - Coincidences. Parties & Loves! (05-01-2006)

Love Always and Latro - The Wired Sweat-Shirt and The Stabful Cat (Cuz my friendly visitng Cat scratched me today...yeah it can lie around and make it look like it wants attention, but then you give it some and it hisses like a evil bat at you. I was so hurt. Emotionally - wahwahwah. :(Boo, emo, boo!

It would be nice if you revived this signature to your blogs, but not really necessary.

Love and Latro Mischievous Kitty.

Dizzknee said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anton said...

Yeah! Good to have you back, it's about time.

Chris in the Studio said...

Chris:
Excuse me waiter?

Waitress:
Yes ,what can I get you?

Chris:
hmmmm, I'll have 3 of what she's on please.

Waitress:
Sure sure, can I get you a dose of respect and admiration with that?

Chris
WHAT? FUCK THAT YO! I want some lovin. ha ha ha

Entertaining post "Miss Caitlin Motherfucking Hill"

Olli said...

Hey don't lie to me! "respect and admiration" ha...hahahaha... -______-

Gik said...

I'm a fairly new follower, not a Fredrick and interested to see how this plays out.

Angieanything said...

You always manage to be intelligent and adorable. I really do admire you. I kinda love ya too... Just a little bit.
-Angieanything from YouTube

sdddlt said...

None of this Love, Caitlin nonsense. I don't love you.

Have crueler words ever been spoken?!

We're all doomed!

unicornmilkshake said...

"You have forgotten who you are and so have forgotten me. Look inside yourself, Simba. You are more than what you have become. You must take your place in the Circle of Life."

That's right, I'm Simba and I have a sexy Broderick voice and a gorgeously wicked Uncle Scar. *side-note: please take me with your finger*, Jeremy Irons!*



That made my week.
XD

The Spinningman said...

I'm not a Frederick so I guess lunch is out of the question...I am a Rick though,does that get me anything???

Refreshingly sharp post by the way.

im'mature said...

As most of the comments have said - It's about friggin' time.

I think everyone was confused by the fairytale-princess-in-NYC phase. Let's go back to some variation of brutally-funny-Caitlin?

You did seem like you used to spend less time worrying about presentation and poise...and those were good times.

Totals