It has recently, and by recently, I mean, now, come to my attention that I don't sign off my "blogs of wisdom and digital paper cuts" the way I use to.
Back in the glorious days of MSN 'My Space' and Buzznet, I use to sign off with delightfully unintelligible sentences like,
The Mischievous Kitty and The Uncircumcised Phallis...
The Tall Bottle of Fiji and The Unquenchable First...
or, when I was feeling particularly excitable,
The Crusty Skin In Between Your Toes and The Frog That Ne'er Did Sing...
So let's bring that back. None of this Love, Caitlin nonsense. I don't love you. I don't know who most of you are. Don't mistake my lack of love for lack of respect or admiration, those feelings I have greatly for each and everyone of you. Unless your name is Frederick, then get out!
(If you are named Fredrick, I'm sorry, let's do lunch!)
I don't want any of this Gossip Girl "ex-oh, ex-oh" shite, either.
"You have forgotten who you are and so have forgotten me. Look inside yourself, Simba. You are more than what you have become. You must take your place in the Circle of Life."
That's right, I'm Simba and I have a sexy Broderick voice and a gorgeously wicked Uncle Scar. *side-note: please take me with your finger*, Jeremy Irons!*
I am back. I have come full circle and I remember who I am...
ROAR! ROARRRR!! ROARRRRRRR!!!!!!
*That's a 40 Year Old Virgin reference by the way, not simply my own gutter-like mind.
The Loved-Out Of Loving You and The Unwatched Season Two of Gossip Girl,
Caitlin motherfucking Hill.