Six Thoughts & A Sloppy Kiss

The following blog was originally posted at my Mostly Private Myspace.

Category: Blogging

When you don't know what you are going to write about, it is best not to write it isn't it?
Or should you just type while words plummet from your brain, into your nerves and come out of your fingers and onto the screen?

A marvelous thing. A wonderful contraption.

"Oh, the cleverness of me!"

I do have a few thoughts I'd like to note...

One. When your dear old Gran is not well you are not allowed to get angry at her for calling you unattractive and telling you that if your hair was a certain colour, you'd get a job. You just can't get angry. You have to remember that when the inevitable day rolls along, and you are lying her in her grave or burning her bones for the mantelpiece, to look back on these times and say: I love you because you make me feel like a failure.

I am giggling to myself as I look over that thought due to the possibility of how many people will believe me to be angry and (oh no!) emotional...trust me, rage does not possess me. EDIT 10/19/10: Yes, but doesn't stop what you said from being really disturbing, Caitlin.

Two. The Father that you feared as a child, usually becomes the Dad you love. They just need to grow up.

Three. Cats, having less taste buds than humans, need to be less picky about their food. Darn them for being adorable.

Four. Nazis are just Fear in Human form. I despise them.

Five. A short little video, filled with hidden secrets, is similar to finding a sixpence in your Christmas Pudding. Or maybe I'm just hungry. Fatty.

Six. MySpace pages of others are filled with disappointing information.

There ye are... Six Thoughts.

This sentence/title is in my head...I don't know why.

"Some kind of wonderful"

My Poem about Hunger - I haven't had dinner yet.

Empty Stomachs
Hungry Hearts
No Food Here
Drift Apart

I feel like tacos ;P

Cheers loves
Caitlin xox

Comments (16) - all bullshitty and telling me I should write a book. Riiight.

Words stuck in my head right now...

From my Mostly Private Myspace:

Current mood: contemplative
Category: Music

I wait for you.
I don't know why.
All I know is I can't hide.
At this temperature you could take over my mind.
Like gossamer
You softly touch.
He draws me in, I'm powerless.
He possesses an enchantment.

Tell me I'm forgiven
He calls
Don't know how I fell under his spell
Lately I've been driven.
He smiles
An enchantment.

I wait for you
I'm mesmerized
This love is like a potion in disguise
I'd tightrope walk with a blindfold on my eyes
I can't escape
Or so it seems
I'd run away
He's in my dreams.
He possesses
An enchantment.

It's the kind of sleepwalk that never ends.
A type of loan with no dividends.
It's a parlour game where you're given chase.
Guess it could be called an acquired taste.
I know. He knows. He calls. I go. I know.
this could be an enchantment.

Why don't you tell me I'm forgiven?
He smiles and I give in,
An enchantment.

It's just Corinne Bailey Rae's voice...it's so soothing...and this has been a hectic week, she rocked me to sleep on Thursday night. However her words have also been a source of agonizing comfort to me...

I'm having trouble sleeping.

Currently listening: Corinne Bailey Rae By Corinne Bailey Rae Release date: 20 June, 2006

Comments (6) - My Favourite:

Brian: nyquil.... nyquil definately helps you go to sleep.... I would say nyquil and alcohol.... but thats not recomended for people who want to live.

"Oh, but what shall I wear to the Party?"

This blog originally appeared on my Mostly Private MySpace:

Current mood: contemplative
Category: Friends

G'day Mates!

Just to let you know, I'm completely healthy. The cat just gives me a bit of hay fever from time to time…but now Merlin has the cold – whahahaha! Sucked in Kitty!

I've been really slack when it comes to YouTube. Instead of uploading every day, I've been doing REAL stuff and hanging out with all my friends, and I've got to tell you, it's so much fun.

I missed Harry so much when I was in America and even though we were only a country apart, it was too difficult to meet up, so I hung out with him and all the other awesome people that I grew up with at School. They are all such good kids and so frigging funny too.

We are planning something. I'm really excited about it. I can't exactly write about it here yet, but it's all booked and happening in November…I'll need to get about a week off from…the other thing that I do that I can't tell you about…and then we're going to party! Oh…it's so great. I decided that I had to do it. So I forked out the money, because I knew that whether it goes badly or is awesome, I don't want to miss out on that memory.
I don't want it to be another story that Harry tells me late one night.

Due to this social behaviour and internet problems, I've had to let down quite a few people…such as the good people at Viral and this guy called Edward. I mean, I'm still doing the things they wanted me to do. And I'll be all done tomorrow, but they've waited for weeks for the stuff I was meant to send them, and yeah…I feel really bad about it. It's just so hard for me to keep on top of things sometimes.

I've been spending too much money lately. I bought a 30GB iPod, A new digital camera, because the silly lady at the BP accidentally knocked Tommy's camera off the counter and it stopped taking pictures – sorry Tommy!
I also spent nearly a Grand on the NIDA (National Institute of Dramatic Arts – where Mel Gibson and Cate Blanchett all went) Spring workshops. I'm doing 5 days of Acting Techniques and a Directing Intensive on the weekend – I'm more excited about the Directing workshop.

I've also realized that one of my other dreams is to have a really awesomely stocked Bar in my home one day. I bought this book on how to make over 200 cocktails. And it came with instructions about all the drinks you'll need and the garnishes and tools – I really want to have a Bar now. This isn't really a new revelation – I wanted to do Bartending when I was 17 but I couldn't afford the course they had going on at the school – don't ask – so yeah, I have to make that happen. THE DRINKS ARE ON ME…one day.

Birthday season is coming up. A LOT of my friends are born in September, not to mention we have Fathers day on the first weekend. Golly.
It's a bit of a shame, that a good friend of mine, Matt, will be having his party for his birthday on my birthday instead of on his…but it's okay. It's only my 19th. I don't think I'm going to do anything. I'm not very good at throwing parties. I worry too much about people having a good time and my parties are always really weird…
So Emma is doing a Masquerade – something I tried to do on my birthday for my 16th, but it was too hot to wear the masks half the time – and I'm just going to party for her and for my birthday on that day.
I'm thinking about my dress though – because every one will dress up – and I was thinking that I'd paint my mask like the Australian Flag and then wear a really pretty deep blue dress…or red – though red wont go very well with a mainly blue mask.
But what do you think? If you're still reading…feel free to comment ideas of what I should wear to this party?
And I'll film it too and put it on the net…maybe not TheHill88 but SnarkleKitten.

Love and Mouldy Bread
Caitlin

Currently listening: The Last Kiss By Original Soundtrack Release date: 08 August, 2006 Comments (7) My Favourites: Simon: The directing workshop sounds cool. You are part of the 1% of people who take these type of courses that will actually follow through and create something. Your year on YouTube has proven that. I have too many friends who were supposed to be writing/producing/directing and gave up before they even got started despite 3 years of school. I say, embrace rejection, set your own goals and define success on your own terms! And a side-job bar-tending probably wouldn't be a bad idea for living expenses either...

Das Flu

From my Mostly Private MySpace:

You'd think there would be a category for Health - but apparently, it's not important on MySpace.

I have a cold...or the flu...or something. I've had it for about 4 weeks and it's just been getting worse, however, today I feel like I might be making progress...or maybe not - I don't know.

I suppose I'll have to go to the Doctors or something. Damn. I don't like going there. But who does, really? Who actually goes - Harray! I'm going to go and have a complete stranger jam a popsicle down my throat! Woohoo!

Buh dum suck.

The fact that you read this blog means you love me and want to have babies with me.

I'm kidding.

Love

Caitlin xoxo

Comments (10) - My Favourite:

Courtney S: Shit. I love when I click the "Cancel" button rather than "Post". Oddly enough, I do love you and want to have your babies. Kinda. And, you've seriously been sick for-freaking-ever. Well, they call me Doctor Love here in Ohio, if that helps, you know how to reach me. Get well soon love :)

The Ocean, Pier 39, Fatty Food, and Movies...

This blog was originally posted on my Mostly Private MySpace:

Current mood: amused
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural

What is it about the ocean that makes us loud, noisy and crass human beings, still for a moment? You watch the people around you, all just staring into the horizon. And you wonder, why? Why, do humans find something so enchanting in the ocean and the distant shore line?

When I was in Australia, I'd look over the ocean and think about America or England...always thinking of the other place, while appreciating the beauty surrounding me at the same time.
Maybe it's the one thing in the world that makes us all feel so small. The one thing in the world that we can't completely conquer? Possibly...

I like the ocean because it always balances out your life for you. It first makes you feel very small OR makes the world very big, so you don't get to full of yourself...yet, it also inspires you to think about the bigger picture and the world out there...

Yes, I like the ocean. Just don't like swimming in it too much...I always drown or something. (Not really)

I went out today with Ken and we went to the beach to look at the Camera Obscura there, which is really cool. And then we went to Pier 39 and once again, it was a beautiful sunny day...just a bit windy.

It was weird because this was the place where I first met Ken...because of that meeting, I was back there again... But all I could think about was sitting in the shade on the pavement, while all the people passed us by...it was a quiet, peaceful moment. They don't happen often.

I wanted American food so bad...so I bought a hot dog, then a pretzel, then candy, and then an ice cream :P Hahahahah...see, I complain about being called fat, but I'm not doing anything to help the nasty comments. I love food WAY too much to give it up. As a ballerina I used to eat whatever I wanted...and luckily had the exercize to keep it off...but now I don't and I still can't stop - it's so good. So bring on the Lard and let the fun begin, A little touch of Bacon and uh... yeah... only some people will get that. (So come on bring on the men - that was a hint)

Then we climbed the many, many, many steps to Coits Tower and stared at it and the view...which was hazy with mist and fog...but still full of sunshine...and then went all the way down again.

I have seen 3 brilliant movies in the last couple of days. Stranger Than Fiction - wonderful story and Will Ferrell kicked butt with acting, which makes me <3 him even more...The Last Kiss - the best acting I've seen in a while...and Rachel Bilson is sexy and Zach Braff is a hero...and Babel - which was quite moving and a real tear-jerker and one of those movies where you go: RUN BITCH RUN!!!! :)

Humans are evil. I love them.

OH! And I've been having the most wonderful dreams...full on action packed dreams and awesome stuff. They always seem to occur in England and back in the medieval ages OR the 40s or something...don't know whether to get kooky and wonder if my soul is trying to tell me something... But seriously the amount of dreams I've had where I am in the medieval ages...are too many to count. Oh and Sarah, if you read this, dreamed about you...we were running away from these medieval gaurds who had somehow gone back to the future with us (I won't explain) and you were afraid of open spaces...like this field we were running through and I had to hold on to your hand, make you run and lightning was striking all around us and I was just like: keep going! KEEP GOING! And then we dived into the ocean to escape the arrows that were shooting at us...and then I woke up.
But everyone was there...it was a kickass girl group of time travellers - we rock!

Currently listening: Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots By The Flaming Lips Release date: 16 July, 2002

Comments (12) - My Favourite:

Sarah J: Yeah, I love the ocean too ... like a person who loves the ocean ... but not to swim ... ohh need sleep ...

I am so flattered that you dreamt about me ... you didnt say if it was a good dream ... I hope so ...
... and so here ends my comments

Much luv and missing of you
XXooXX

QotD: What A Waste - VOX

"What's something you bought, knowing it was a total waste of money?"

A tamigotchi...

I always wanted one as a kid. A distant uncle bought my brother and me a tamigotchi each, and then my gran threw them out the next day. The worst part was that she pretended she did not do it. I'll always have a small grudge against her for that. Not because she took it, but because she didn't have faith in us. She didn't think we could be good kids and still have a computer toy. And then she lied. Yeah, I'll never be able to quite get over it...plus, as an 8 year old, it was a really significant moment for me, because nothing else was important back then.

So one day, after the week at Schoolies, I walked in to Toy World. I bought the tamigotchi, which was over 20 dollars (back when I was 8, they had been 2 dollars each) and didn't have any money left for anything.

I took the stupid thing to work once, and got in trouble for feeding it before serving a customer :) Priorities, right? What can I say? I'm stupid. And I'll do anything to remain 8. Anything.

(edit 5/16/10: but I guess not...)

...however, in the end it died and I didn't reset it. It ran out of batteries and last week I threw it in the trash.

Goodbye Miss 8.

Making The Same Mistakes All Over Again... - VOX

And this time there is no positive outcome.

Remi and I broke up. Mutual decision, but really my call. I still feel kind of crummy about it though. Only because the reasons why we ended were the same reasons why the last relationship ended. Both relationships were different and at different stages, but the key thing to the break down was the same despicable thing.

I'm living in an imaginary world.