Friday, 8 August 2008

I Am Australia

Hello Everyone!

I am back in Australia for a week for my brother James' 21st birthday. I almost didn't go, because I felt guilty flying home with such a fabulous ticket *shhh, business, shhh*, but I've been feeling quite down lately and the only idea I could come up with to explain my unhappiness is that I may be a weeny bit homesick.

I've never once sat and cried about missing friends or Australia, New York is too exciting to get too sad, but it has been over 6 months since I last saw my family and some of my friends, so I just had to come.

Now that I am here, I feel a bit anxious. I feel like I am living next to an hourglass and am drowning like Jasmine in the sand. ;P I don't feel like I have enough time here, and now that I get to see, once again, how truly beautiful and peaceful Australia is, I feel sad that I don't have more time to enjoy it.

It is hard living abroad, but I am looking forward to starting anew when I get back. I am now in an interesting financial situation and can no longer be frivolous with my money. My American friend and I seem to have come full circle with this. When I first met her, she helped me set up so many accounts and money was flying out everywhere because it could. Now, we have been canceling these and giving myself a limit and I realize that being in control of the flow of my money and the things that come and go with it, is easier than losing track and having these things pile up on me.

I have also bought a bike, it's beautiful. A 1967 Schwinn Coppertone Breeze Deluxe. It's a beautiful retro colour and I am going to feel very cool riding to work and through Central Park on it. I almost did the first time I rode it back to my apartment from the shop, except I didn't realize I had the gear on 3rd, which made starting to pedal through intersections very difficult...and wobbly, and very embarrassing. Thankfully, the drivers seemed surprisingly patient or maybe they were too busy laughing at me to drive over me. Hopefully, that's how it will always be.

The roads in New York City are terrible compared to those of Paris though. Paris may have many cobblestone paths, but they are still smoother than the bumpy tarmac that is constantly being ripped up and poured on and ripped up again in the city.

Before I went to home on the Sunday, I went to Virginia on Friday night. We drove there, so we didn't actually arrive until 6 in the morning on the Saturday. I was so tired, but the people there are so lovely. I adore and admire every single one of them and can't wait to get to know them better. I am so excited about the future that lies there...if it happens, I am always constantly in doubt that happy things like that will. We'll see, hey.

I have to get ready to go see my Gran. The poor dear, she is sick but battling it with all the power a Scottish woman can have, which is a lot. Today is brother's birthday. I am giving him a light saber, (all the boys on the plane were very jealous of it) and a Saruman Goblet and the Light of Galadriel. I am going to tell him this:

"By all means, dear Brother,
drink to the Darkness,
but don't forget to embrace
the Light."

Those of you have followed my whole journey on YouTube should be able to recognize what I am talking about.

Take care everyone there are far too many earthquakes, recessions and athletes about.



Olli said...

Why do you felt guilty flying home with business class ticket? Anyway...I'm sure it's great to be home and now I feel like I want to take a trip to Australia too. Damn you! :D

Anarina said...

Good girl! Following your life always cheers me up. I was feeling a little down and said "hmmm let's see if that cheeky aussie finally updated her blog" and there we have it. Live it up and make a video with your bike!

Ray said...

There's no place like home. :)

GeminiDragon said...

Ooh, that's a nice bike. You should get do some courier bike drag racing like the people on this site where they put cameras on their helmets and tear through NYC traffic:P

Just don't die. 'Cause that would be bad, so yeah.

Chris in the Studio said...

"Tears of today are fuel for the character and soul of tomorrow."

somehow I think you understand this already.

Hang in there kiddo!

Anonymous said...

Hey Caitlin, glad to see things are well. Its tiring commuting... in 2005 I flew to Connecticut every 2 weeks for a few months. The job was really stressful and I eventually quit it after about 7 months. It wasnt the travelling, it was the people I was working with.

Enjoy yourself :)

SuperJV said...

hey miss Caitlin

always nice to see you post. glad you're visiting home and happy to be there ! i just saw "Real Love" that you featured on your YT page. i have to say, you show pretty good acting chops there, I know you have a background in theater, so i shouldn't be suprised, but it's cool to see that :)

james said...

It's good to hear that you are looking forward to your future while still taking a bit of time to be nostalgic about what has come before.

Coincidently, I moved to Virginia about 3 months ago and am enjoying it so far. I have reached the point where I am missing my old town and realizing that I will never again relive the defining moments and experiences I had there. At least I have my memories, which I will carry with me as each new moment comes my way.

Take care.


Julia said...

I can understand where you`re coming from about living overseas being difficult. I`m from the US and I just moved to Japan. Do you even -know- how complicated throwing away trash can be??

Kara said...

I really admire how you were able to do such a big move at your age! I'd love to do the same sort of thing, but I don't have the guts, haha.

Dizzknee said...

Great to read an update from you, Caitlin. It's a perfect way to start my week. I know what you mean about frivolous spending. It can get a little addicting, but like you, I've been trying to scale back a bit lately and saving more instead. It can be tough though, once you get used to it.

I'm not sure why, but I was under the impression that you were going to be spending a lot more time down under for your visit...not just a week, but then again, what do I know? :-P. You're right, that isn't a lot of time to see family and friends. Just try and make the most of it while still taking the time to relax and soak up the magic of home. I hope one day to visit Australia. I always hear the most amazing things about it. I actually do have relatives in Brisbane, although I've never met them (I don't think). Maybe I'll see what I can do about that. One day, perhaps.

Virginia is great (along with D.C.). I go there every year for a conference and always have a blast. Of all the cities I've traveled to, D.C. is quite possibly the most beautiful one I've seen, architecturally speaking...very majestic with lots of green space as well...and no buildings taller than the capitol building (by law), so you can always see it, wherever you are in the city....very clever.

Anyway, I've blabbed enough and should get this day started. Keep your chin up and focus on the positive. Have a safe journey back to NYC.

Earle : )

Isaiah said...

You were in Virginia?! My home state (sniff) and I do miss it when I haven't been home in 6 months too. Come visit DC sometime!!

defenestrati said...

Wow, that's very good writing. If only all blogs on the Net were so well done!

Anonymous said...

That's a beautiful quote. Forgive me for sounding ignorant, but where is it from?

Sara said...

In some ways I really understand you and all those people in your situation. For some reasons I basicaly live between France and Spain, and it's not easy to be away from the family however it is a way to grow up, to know people, to talk other language in my case...but sometimes it is not that easy to say "BYE" to the family.
Anyway, although some says "there is no place like home" there are many places to discover...we live once, don't we?

love. Sara R.

Emily said...

Hey Caitlin! I just found your blog, haven't been on youtube for ages myself, but thought I'd say hello. I also recently made a pretty big move - NYC to Austin, TX. No, it's not halfway around the world, but I haven't seen my family or old friends since January - they're all on the East Coast. And, of course, at least in NYC someone was always coming through to visit the big city. Austin, while awesome, isn't as big an attractor. It's hard, no matter your relationship with your fam, being so far away for so long.

Anyway, glad you're well and I hope you're enjoying NYC. I miss it so much!

SuperJV said...

hey miss Caitlin. you're missed here in blog land :)

Anon said...

Hi. Is it true what encyclopedia dramatica says about you here:

"she has problems when people talk about her, especially if it's honest"

and also: "(she) is known on You Tube for being a slut"

also: ""Fuck you," was actually said by young Caitlin when someone asked her if Boh3m3 was a good lay."

And finnaly: "It is rumored TheHill88 is You Tube's most hated slut, simply because she left Boh3m3 for money and fame."

Any comments on that ? Do you and Boh3m3 are still friends ? Why isn´t he on your "favorite youtubers" list ? Did you try to emulate lonelygirl15´s problems with love, by using your friend Harry, and the fact that he was going to move out ? Was he aware of that ? Do you get payed for your videos ? Do you have any incoming, a job or something ? How do you manage to travel around the world, staying in good hotels, feed yourself, etc. ? Is it your parents that pay this for you, or do you have a sponsor ?

Well, i´d like to say that i´m a fan of your monologues; i think you are very witty, and sincerely wish you only good things in life. (p.s. the parkour video was really cool)


Alan said...

Beautiful blog

jinglebuns said...

Why constantly with the cryptic Twitter updates?

for instance...

"being smacked in the face by fate... Why is it always goodnight and go? I can't do that anymore"

You write the messages to broadcast to the world, yet you know that nobody reading will get the inside references.

Therefore, you do not really care about telling people anything other than the fact that you are deep and mysterious. Perhaps when you reach 21, you'll look back and laugh.

Rachel S. said...

I didn't know you were here in America! I wonder if you're going to a university in New York City? For whatever reason, I'm glad you're having a good time! :-D

SuperJV said...

hope you're well, Miss Caitlin.

Jewelness said...

Haha I love the last sentence about athletes, recessions and earthquakes. but you forgot hurricanes! there are too many of those too.

Hey, Caitlin. I have ever really written to you but I think that it is fitting for me to now because after following you for a few years now (its been about 2, you were the first youtuber that i really started paying attention to)

I want let you to know that I am studying abroad in Australia this spring and I like to think that a lot of my openess and choice to go there started with you an your videos and your openess.

I just wanted to tell you how excited I am and say thank you for sharing :)

Jewel (From Austin, TX)